Stand up against animal disinformation in the New Year

While not usually a fan of rushing the holiday season, this blog has been convinced by the suggestion of the great and admirable The Rejectionist that December is a good time to give New Year's resolutions a test run.

This is particularly true in the case of animal-related resolutions, which can be sorely tested by the holiday gift-buying season.

Of course, if you read this blog, you already recognize that you have a problem. You're a member of the precious minority that understands that animals aren't as cute as they want you to think.

But that's only the beginning. Now you need to make a commitment to being part of the solution.

It's not enough to simply forward links to this blog to everyone you know, although of course that is a vital first step. You also need to make sure you're not helping the enemy by inadvertently participating in its propaganda campaign.

So, make these three simple promises and stop helping animals pull the wool, fur, feathers and scales over our eyes.

1. I will not click on headlines like the following:

Faithful dog waits for owner near Shanghai fire without eating

Horses never forget human friends

Bonobo is excellent babysitter

or anything involving a panda.


2. I will not buy books like these:

Am I Boring my Dog?

Zooborns: The newest, cutest animals from the world's zoos and aquariums!

And I will especially not buy indoctrination materials for impressionable children like:

The latter book's shameless edition for young people, ZooBorns!: Zoo Babies from Around the World

And Tango Makes Three, a classic attempt to warp young minds that this blog deconstructes here.

3. And finally, when I hear of stories like this one:

Porpoises rescue Dick Van Dyke

I will remind everyone: We never hear from the people who the dolphins push AWAY from shore.



(It should go without saying that you will definitely not buy Obey the Pug merchandise here.)

Animals behaving humanly, part 3

After our last post we hope that you'll no longer be fooled by animals that pretend to be artists, no matter how widely their fame is spread by credulous journalists and clever zoo fundraising staff.

But perhaps even more troubling are animals who claim to have advanced degrees, as attested by this list at Wikipedia - and of course, those are only the degree recipients who've been successfully outed as cats and dogs. There may be more.

One of these is a pug named Chester Ludlow (pictured above) who was awarded an MBA from an online school called Rochville University.

But like the orangutan photographer, he's not getting away with this so easily. As explained to him in this video by a puggle who is apparently employed by the Diploma Mill Police at GetEducated.com, a degree that you buy for $499 from an unaccredited institution isn't going to fool anyone:



Whatever else you might think about its value, it's good to know that an MBA degree - at least, a legitimate one - is still one of the last remaining things separating us from the animals.