Animals vs Law Enforcement: on the attack

Everett, Washington sounds like a nice small city, not the kind of place where the police are constantly confronted by abuse and harrassment from the citizenry. The human citizenry, anyway. But now they've got another species to worry about, as reported by the Everett Herald:

A few days ago, the crows decided they didn't like the cops. They started swooping down on them and dive-bombing them as the officers walked from their cars into the station.

Everett police Lt. Bob Johns recently was flanked by them and "got zinged," he said.

"They're like velociraptors," he said.

The crows don't care much for rank, either -- they've gone for top brass and detectives in particular, police Sgt. Robert Goetz said.

A wildlife expert's advice was to use umbrellas for protection. This may seem like a rather lame defense, but there's a risk to retaliating against these intelligent birds, as they've already demonstrated:

At least one officer has tried using his siren to scare the crows away: They responded by decorating his car with droppings.

And in fact, when you go after crows, you're at risk of very personal revenge. A study published last year showed that crows can recognize and remember the faces of individual humans who've threatened them - and they don't keep it to themselves.

To test specific recognition of faces rather than gait, clothing or other characteristics, researchers wore a realistic mask when trapping and banding crows, an experience that the birds - to put it mildly - don't care for. Then, volunteers visited the trapping sites, some wearing that mask and some wearing other control masks the birds had not seen before. The crows' reactions clearly distinguised the different faces.

“The birds were really raucous, screaming persistently,” said one volunteer who wore the trapper's mask, “and it was clear they weren’t upset about something in general. They were upset with me.”

The crows had long memories - three years later they still remembered and reacted strongly to their enemy. And they taught their neighbors and even their children about him: crows too young to have been born at the time of the trapping knew who the bad guy was.

"Crows hold a grudge, and they are big gossips," says professor David Craig. "They spread the information around. If you're bad to one crow, many more may hear about it."


Photo of helpful warning by the inappropriately named Flickr user pleasantcrow.

Beware of beavers

Readers of this blog know that none of us are safe from animals. But some incidents surprise even the experts. In a case called "truly bizarre," three people are being treated for rabies after being bitten in a Philadelphia park - by a beaver.

"Our furbearer biologist, when he heard about this, he was just literally blown away," said one official. (We assume that this is the biologist that studies other furbearing mammals, not that he is fur-bearing himself.)

You probably know to be cautious of wild raccoons, which are the most commonly reported rabid animal in the state, followed by skunks, cats, bats and foxes. But especially if you are a city-dweller, you've probably never given a thought to being afraid of beavers. And with fairly good reason - till now:

"Beavers have never been known to transmit rabies to anything, including other beavers," a game department spokesman told LiveScience. "It's unusual that it was beavers, it was unusual that there were two incidences so closely together and it was truly bizarre it was in Philadelphia."

These two incidents follow on another case in the suburbs in April where someone was bitten in the leg by a rabid beaver. And we can't reassure ourselves that maybe it was the same animal - that one was killed in the incident. So there's not just one.

Officials have recommended that people "avoid the Pennypack Creek waterfront area between Bustleton Avenue and Roosevelt Boulevard in northeast Philadelphia." Seems a bit specific to me. Philadelphia has plenty of nice museums and other indoor attractions to take advantage of. Why take chances?


Statue of five foot tall extinct beaver photographed by Flickr user Travis S. I guess we can be thankful at least they're not that big anymore.

Dog finally put in her place

More and more, animals are getting swelled heads about their place in the world. We've seen them getting influential jobs and political appointments and even one that caused a scandal by receiving communion at a church in Canada.

Today we note the passing of one of these animals: a maltese named Trouble. When millionaire Leona Helmsley died in 2007, she left $12 million for the purpose of keeping this dog in the luxury she was accustomed to.

A judge later reduced the amount to two million, but it was still plenty to allow Trouble to retire in style at one of Helmsley's Florida hotels. The dog's caretaker conceded that he could get by on $100,000 a year: $8,000 for grooming, $1,200 for food and the rest for his fee and a full-time bodyguard, made necessary because Trouble allegedly was the target of death and kidnapping threats.

Trouble was apparently treated better than Helmsley's human family. According to the New York Daily News:

Trouble accompanied Helmsley via private jet to her homes in Arizona and Florida, her 21-room Connecticut mansion Dunnellen Hall, and Helmsley's duplex penthouse with swimming pool at the Park Lane Hotel on Central Park South.

Helmsley, who cut two grandchildren out of her will and evicted her son's widow after his death, was often seen cuddling the canine, which was always impeccably dressed.

But even a dog who outlives her owner and out-inherits the human relatives must eventually meet the fate that awaits us all: It was belatedly reported last week that Trouble died in December.

And Trouble is being kept in her place, finally, at the end. Helmsley wanted the dog buried with her. But a spokesman for the cemetery where she was laid to rest has the last word: "You cannot bury pets in a cemetery."


Another little ex-dog by Flickr user mymoustache.

Animals don't need violent video games

Some people still cling to the illusion that animals are less violent than humans, that they only kill because they need to eat.

It's hard to use this excuse for the snow leopard in Pakistan who recently killed 68 goats in a single night, far more than it could consume. Not only is this animal wasteful at best, it clearly doesn't know which side its goat is buttered on, because now the slaughter is causing disputes between the farmers that own the goats and conservationists. That is, conservationists who want to protect the snow leopard. Way to help the people who are trying to save your furry butt, huh?

There are also plenty of animals that kill other animals that they don't eat even a little bit of. We've seen before that dolphins, hiding behind their inexplicably charming reputations, kill both the young of harbor porpoises, and baby dolphins as well. A recent study suggests that the culprits are young males taking out their sexual frustration. Even the researcher, presumably well acquainted with the truth about dolphins, was appalled by their behavior:

In one particularly violent attack, three dolphins corralled their victim before seven others joined them to ram the porpoise to death. Cotter found most shocking the fact that two dolphins remained behind to play with the carcass before pushing it towards his boat. "It was almost like they said: 'We're done playing with it, here you go'."

But we can be thankful that there are at least a few children who won't grow up with illusions about the peaceful nature of our fellow creatures, thanks to one lion at a zoo in England:

Kids see a lion eat cuddly zoo animal

The cute binturong - also called a bearcat - was one of a pair to climb a tree before dropping into the big cat den at Chessington World of Adventure.

Jason Harcombe, visiting with his two-year-old son Oscar, said: "The poor animal didn't stand a chance. The lions jumped on it straight away and killed it.

"The lioness brought the body up to the glass and then she and her mate just ripped it apart in front of us."

Now there's an animal who is really trying to help me do my job here on this blog.


Lion caught in the act in photo from the Daily Mail.

Animals and law enforcement, the continuing saga

Last week we saw a major police response to a stuffed tiger in England, and perhaps you thought this was a unique event. Hardly, as any animal control officer will tell you. They are constantly called to respond to "emergencies" involving snakes that turn out to be garden hoses, dying animals that are really plastic bags, and, like the fuzzy feline in the English case, animals that turn out to be stuffed, plastic, or statues.

In fact, this past week it happened again,this time in the US. A resident of a Kansas City suburb called police to report a sighting of an alligator. Lacking a helicopter with heat-sensing equipment, this time responding officers actually shot the critter twice before realizing something was up.

You may think this is all good for a laugh, but don't forget it's your tax dollars at work. And in fact, in Great Britain, one watchdog organization has totalled up the cost of responses to such calls - most of which turn out to involve real animals - and the figure is sobering: 3.5 million pounds in the last three years for rescues involving 2,400 cats, 2,180 dogs, 1,700 horses, 2,090 birds (including 1,244 seagulls, 159 pigeons, 57 swans and 12 parrots), 26 foxes, 19 squirrels, seven ferrets, seven badgers, ten hamsters, 15 snakes, 11 fish and seven dolphins. One fire brigade in Wales even rescued a snail whose plight was distressing an elderly lady.

You may think seagulls and snails should be left to fend for themselves, but because your foolish fellow citizens don't, safety personnel have no choice but to devote their resources to these rescues, as one official explained:

"If we don't rescue that animal somebody else will or will try to. I've seen people have their arms trapped in drains trying to rescue ducklings and we've actually had to dig the road up to get the person out."

No kind of animal is safe

As a reader of this blog, you presumably know better than to let your children have pets. But you probably think there's no harm in letting them indulge in a few furry stuffed toys.

You'd be wrong. Not only do stuffed animals encourage the unrealistically positive view of animals that we strive to stamp out here. But they can cause major problems of their own, as police in Hampshire, England discovered last week, when a citizen called to report a white tiger loose in a local field.

Officials responded in force, appropriately for such a dangerous animal, with a police helicopter and trained staff from the local Marwell Zoo, and evacuated a nearby golf course. The animal was fairly immobile, but that did not initially raise their suspicions. And you can't blame them, given how lazy most cats are, especially in the middle of the day. In fact we've noted before that tigers sleep nearly sixteen hours per day.

But then the helicopter's thermal imaging equipment detected no body heat and the animal didn't react to being buffeted by the winds generated by the helicopter. Finally, the downdraft caused the creature to roll over, revealing that it was a large stuffed toy.

Watch live footage of the culprit and a video interview with the chief inspector of the local police at The Telegraph. He seems like the kind of level headed guy you could trust to respond to a real animal emergency, and now he's had a practice drill. If I was a real tiger, I'd take my troublemaking elsewhere.

Three Bad-Animal Weekend

For the holiday, a few quick headlines, posted in-between Blogger outages:

Mutant turtles terrorize London ponds

California family finds mountain lion in garage

Nazi scientists tried to create an army of talking dogs


Also, it's a good time to make sure you didn't miss the classic post about squirrels behaving badly on Memorial Day.

Photo of poster publicizing fearsome Maryland relative of those London terrapins by Flickr user clearly ambiguous.

Crowdsourcing the war on bad animals

Last week we saw that some researchers are bravely documenting bad animal behavior. This week they're doing it again, but this time, it's not just for science. They're hoping to do something to stop it, and enlisting average people to help.

The news comes out of Australia, where animals from other places have a history of laying waste to the ecosystem - including cane toads, rabbits,and in this case, camels.

Feral camels in the Australian outback are multiplying out of control, ravaging the native wildlife and disturbing human communities as well. They can be particularly destructive in their search for water, an expert told Discovery News: "When water is short, they go for running water. They will take pipes and air conditioning units off of walls, and smash up toilet systems."

Efforts to control the camels require information about where they are, so officials have started a website where sightings can be reported.

So if there's anyone out there in the outback reading this blog: You don't have to let bad animals get away with it. Do your part: If you see something, say something.


Is that camel by Tambako the Jaguar laughing at us? Don't let her get away with it.

World Turtle Day is Not Safe for Work

Last week, I knew that World Turtle Day was on the way, but I wasn't sure if there was a way to mark the occasion on this blog. There just isn't that much news about turtles and tortoises behaving badly.

Then on Friday I want to my volunteer gig at the zoo and was asked to clean the Aldabra tortoise exhibit, and I thought, how could I have forgotten? Not only is this a disgusting job, it was accompanied by a disgusting spectacle, with a disgusting soundtrack of loud moans and groans. In fact at one point both of the huge males attempted to mate with the smaller female at the same time.

Unfortunately I didn't have a camera with me, but you can always count on the internet for pictures of sex, right? So enjoy - if that's the word - these pictures of tortoises behaving badly by Flickr users derpunk, schristia, and David Berkowitz.




And if that's not enough, did you doubt that there'd also be video? Particularly unsafe for work with the sound on. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Hey, we're not the only ones!

For some reasons humans cherish the illusion that animals are better than we are. Some still believe that humans are uniquely violent, that animals only kill their own kind when they need to. Well, sure, if when they "need to" is when babies are inconvenient, when they want territory... you get the picture.

Now we may be joined in yet another "unique" human offense by our close relatives. Scientists have discovered that in Uganda, chimpanzees may be hunting red colobus monkeys to extinction.

One less thing for us to feel uniquely guilty about! Although, the monkeys may have a chance: The population has been declining for at least three decades, but lately for some unknown reason, the chimps have been hunting less, so the youngsters aren't learning how to do it as well.

Will the colobus be saved because these kids today are are lazy and shiftless? Only time will tell.



Watch out, that chimp by Flickr user Tambako the Jaguar has teeth and knows how to use them.

Not safe in our own homes

A home invasion committed by a feral cat resulted in an attack so bad that Texas resident Charles Gibson needed to be airlifted to a hospital:

It was around 1 p.m. when investigators said Gibson came home and found a 20-pound tabby standing in the middle of his living room staring back at him. Scared, police said, the man grabbed a knife to try to protect himself.

But seconds later, the feral cat attacked him in the bathroom, authorities said.

Gibson admitted he stabbed the cat multiple times, but could not remember anything else.

When medics arrived, he was bleeding profusely and was rushed to the hospital.

If you've got a strong stomach you can watch a news video with a quick view of one of his stitched-up injuries here. At the time of that report, Gibson was home, but it's not over - doctors said he would need additional surgery.

According to the video, the cat got in because the front door was left open. Think you live in a neighborhood that's safe enough to leave your doors unlocked? Maybe you should reconsider.


Photo by Flickr user sonjalovas. I don't know what I think about that company's logo - I wouldn't be so sure that cat's on my side.

Not above the law

Last week we saw a small dog with the force of the law behind her bad behavior. This week we're encouraged to see movement in the opposite direction.

Celebrities often act like the rules are made for someone else. But the city council in Brighton, UK is standing up to a bad animal despite his fame.

Bodhi, the skateboarding terrier, is all over the internet. You can follow him via his owner Jonathan Fell's Twitter account, Flickr photos like the one above, and You Tube videos. He's appeared on the website People Pets, in Skateboarding magazine... and he's also been in the newspapers, where not everyone is so enthusiastic.

Back in February, Fell was warned that he and his dog risked being fined and issued an ASBO, which for you non-Brits, is an Anti-Social Behavior Order.

What's the problem with this charming activity? In many communities, of course, skateboarding itself is seen as anti-social behavior, with kids endangering innocent pedestrians and public infrastructure by doing dangerous stunts on property that's not designed to stand up to the abuse.

But for a dog, there's an additional issue: The leash laws.

Fell poo-pooed the complaints: "As far as I am concerned if Bodhi is under control he is not causing a problem. He is always under control. If I call him he comes to me and sits," and told The Telegraph that if he was the first to get an ASBO for a skateboarding dog, "I would be proud of that. I would hang it on the wall. He is not doing anything wrong, it is a joke, Bodhi is no criminal."

But authorities disagree. This week, after two women complained about tripping over the skateboard, Fell was fined eighty pounds for having Bodhi off-leash.

He has two weeks to pay up, otherwise he may have to appear before the authorities and pay a penalty of a thousand pounds.

A spokesperson for the city council, obviously sensitive to the implication that they are spoilsports, said "We know Bodhi's antics are an amusing sight and the dog and spectators appear to enjoy it. But when people start getting hurt and we receive complaints we have a legal duty to act."

The spokesperson also pointed out that enforcing the leash laws was not the same as prohibiting skateboarding: Bodhi is free to legally continue skating in the local parks.

There's a time and a place for everything. Such reasonable restrictions, however, are often ignored by human skateboarders. Will the dog set a good example? We will continue to follow this story.

A word from our sponsor

Taking a break from regular blogging to say: Buy my new book!

Although the wombat prominently featured in this mystery does not try to kill anyone and the sloths do not dive into sewers, just a bit of the jacket copy should convince you that it is appropriately mentioned on this blog:

Everyone comes to the zoo to see the charming yearly ritual of elephants playfully stomping pumpkins at Halloween. Small mammal keeper Hannah usually thinks it's not fair--why do the big animals get all the attention? But this year the fun turns deadly: Victor, lover of charismatic zoo director Allison, is found dead in the elephant yard--where he'd been left with a pumpkin carved to fit his head.

You can read a sample chapter here.

And in other shopping news:

This bad animal t-shirt is on sale for only ten dollars for a limited time over at Toothpaste for Dinner. If you've got any money left after ordering my book, go for it!

Dog fought the law... and the dog won

In a legal setback in the battle against bad small dogs, a Mississippi appeals court recently overturned a decision awarding $130,000 to a woman who was almost attacked by a four-month-old, four-pound dachshund puppy called Sophie.

The basic facts of the case of Penny Pinchers vs Outlaw (I am not making that up) as reported by legal blogger Philip Thomas:

Sophie's owner took her to work with her at Penny Pinchers. The rest is history. Outlaw—being afraid of dogs—ran for the back of the store upon entering and hearing Sophie bark. Outlaw could hear Sophie's claws on the floor and, I presume, her jaws snapping.

When Outlaw saw it was little Sophie, she laughed and resumed shopping. Large quantities of catfish and sugar were on her list. But Outlaw was soon hysterical with pain in her bum hip. An ambulance was dispatched. The lawsuit followed.

The appeals court concluded that Outlaw had not proven that the presence of the dachshund met the standard for a "dangerous condition" that Penny Pinchers could be legally responsible for, and notes that "we must consider that Sophie was a four pound puppy at the time of the incident."

Apparently the Mississippi judge hasn't read my post on the study that says that dachshunds are one of the breeds most likely to bite. The only reason we're safe from these monsters is that they tend to pick on victims their own size: they've been known to maul babies, and in some cases (reported here and here), dachshund attacks on infants have been fatal.

And they may have more than babies in the sights. Let's not forget the cases where other cute small dogs have tried to consume their owners bit by bit.

That photo is the last thing you'll see if you die by dachshund puppy attack. Don't underestimate them because they're little... especially now that they have the law on their side.

My evil favorites, continued

OK, I haven't run across a story of murderous capybaras yet. But we've got breaking news that rounds out the evil lurking in my favorite family.

You'd never guess they are relatives, but anteaters and sloths are both members of a group called xenarthrans.

We've already seen those adorable critters committing birdicide and diving into poop.Now it's been discovered that the third member of the family, the armadillo, is making us sick.

Armadillos had previously been considered good guys in the story of leprosy.Because they are susceptible to it, they could be used in research to study the disease.

But now, genetic analysis reveals that about 1/3 of the cases of leprosy in the US each year originate from armadillos.

Now, on the bright side, this is only true of the nine-banded armadillo, which is not the cutest one: so far we're still safe from the adorable three-banded:

And despite the traditional terror associated with leprosy, it's not as big a deal in modern as in Biblical times. If caught early, it can be cured with antibiotics. And it's not actually that contagious - transmission requires extended, close contact. So the only people at risk are the ones that cuddle armadillos - or eat them.

But I know - I'm just making excuses. If you're also still not convinced, don't miss this video of a vicious attack.



First photo by Flickr user Leppyone, who adds to the problem by making that animal look so artistic.