Cats and parasites behaving badly

Foolishly, I thought everyone already knew that their cats were controlling their minds. I don't mean just with their demanding mews - you do know that cats use a special vocalization that's acoustically similar to a baby's cry, a sound that we've basically evolved to be unable to resist?

You would know that if you'd read the Animals Behaving Badly book. And you'd also know about their even more sinister method: they carry a parasite that changes your personality.

This is not news. You also could have read about it, for example, on Ed Yong's blog way back in 2008. But a new article in The Atlantic called "How Your Cat is Making You Crazy" is getting so much attention that people have clearly missed earlier coverage.

Given that so many cats have infiltrated human homes, this is an issue of major importance, and obviously I've neglected it on this blog for far too long. You've may have heard of toxoplasmosis as a disease that is carried by cats, probably in the context of warnings that pregnant women shouldn't clean the litter box. But these warnings don't go into detail about the effects that this disease may have on us. As I explain it in the book:

The parasite toxoplasma, when it infects a rat, overwhelms its fear of cats and makes it actually feel attracted to them, with predictable results for the rodent. (It then infects the cat, which is where it really wants to live.) Humans infected with toxo also show mental changes: they have an increased risk of traffic accidents, and there’s a correlation with schizophrenia. But the most frightening possibility: If it makes rats attracted to cats, does it do the same to people?

So, you think you like your cat because it's cute and warm and furry. But just maybe you like your cat because an alien that lives in your brain is telling you to and you're powerless to resist. It would explain a lot, don't you think?



Sinister kitty by Flickr user cloned milkmen.

Bad Animal Video Roundup

New cases of old animal vices, and some new insights into their depravity, caught on film:

-We've seen so many examples of animals invading places of business that it might be time to retire this one to a Hall of Fame, but what the heck, here's a deer crashing its way into a New Jersey Goodwill store.

-Way back at the beginning of this blog we met a seagull that repeatedly strolled into a store in England to steal its favorite flavor of chips. Check out another example of the thieving persistence of these birds as this gull steals lunch from someone's backpack, completely unconcerned at being filmed the whole time.

-Ever wonder what your cat does all night? Ever wonder why you feel so tired in the morning? Maybe there's a connection. Check out this time-lapse video.

-This one shocked even me: Baboons that kidnap puppies.

-And finally: Yes, it's important to beware of the dangers of animals. But first, make sure the animal is alive. Example: Here's video from Houston of police responding to 911 calls about... a stuffed tiger.

There's even less excuse when you realize that it looks exactly like the tiger in the photo above. That one caused the same kind of ruckus in England back in June. People, you need to keep up with this blog!

Biting the hand that rescues you

Perhaps appropriately for the week that THE BOOK is coming out (tomorrow!), there's so much bad animal news, it's hard to decide what to cover in detail. Just a few examples:

-The Ig Nobel prize that was awarded last week to research showing that a certain type of Australian beetle is happy to have sex with discarded beer bottles instead of female beetles - but only the brown bottles with little bumps on them.

-The coyotes that took over an abandoned house in Southern California.

-The news that escaped pets may be teaching wild parrots to talk, which, although derided by some skeptics, could have frightening implications if true.

But all of these take a back seat to what is clearly most significant recent news for the purposes of this blog. It's an update on one of those heartwarming animal stories that went viral - but that turns out to have a dark side.

By now everyone has heard the tale of Willow, the cat found in Manhattan that turned out to have disappeared five years ago from a home in Colorado. Willow's history was discovered when she was picked up on the street and brought to an animal shelter, where they scanned a microchip that revealed her true identity.

The story was covered in major media outlets across the country, with much wonderment over how a cat could have made the trip of many thousands of miles. There was rather less coverage of the prosaic explanation, that someone on a ski vacation had found the lost cat, assumed she was a stray, and flew her back to his Brooklyn home.

The family was reunited with Willow last week, when they flew to New York to pick up the prodigal pussy and, of course, make the rounds of media outlets. All very charming, till one news conference when Willow decided to make her real feelings known, as reported by the New York Post:

Spotlight-weary Willow the cat bit her 3-year-old owner yesterday as cameras rolled on their happy if painful reunion.

Little Lauren “Lola’’ Squires had barely finished cooing about how she couldn’t wait to get long-lost Willow home to Colorado -- gushing, “I’ll feed her, play with her, take good care of her” -- when the frustrated feline snipped at her hand.

Willow's owners downplayed the bite, saying that the cat was just "stressed out" by all the attention. They're sure she'll fit in when she gets home, where she will meet a strange dog they acquired after she left along with the strange child. Why so confident? They explained, “she’s very dominant . . . we used to say she acted more like a dog.”

We suspect we haven't heard the end of this story.

Vacation Linkarama

While I'm trying to relax at the beach despite having read the last story linked to below, enjoy some high quality bad animal reporting and analysis from elsewhere on the web:

A brave fellow at Gizmodo presents the evidence: Why we should just let the damn pandas go extinct, already

At the Guardian: That pet cat who turned up after five years - heartwarming tale or feline conspiracy?

A world traveller keeps track of the number of birds (and one bat) that have crapped on her

And before you laugh at that: Scientists implicate seagulls in the worldwide spread of antibiotic-resistant bacteria.

And now I'm off to the beach - no, on second thought, the nice bird-free outlet mall.

Midsummer serpent roundup

Some snake stories we've missed over the past few months:

-From Australia, a cat behaving badly because of a snake obsession: Loti has cost her owners almost $2000 because of her habit of catching venomous snakes. She almost died after being bitten two years ago, but as of February, she hadn't given up the habit, presenting her owners with another brown snake and another hundred dollar vet bill.

-Also in Australia, a canoe club was in danger of a ceiling collapse because of six scrub pythons up in the roof having an orgy. Two were caught, but four were continuing their activities in a low corner where they can't be reached, including a seven meter long female who eluded capture for the same offense a couple of years ago.

-And in England, another sad example of what can happen when people think that animals appreciate what we do for them.

Luke Yeomans founded a research and conservation center for king cobras in India, and kept a breeding colony of 24 at his home in England. But despite his alleged expertise, as you can see from the photo above, apparently he thought it was a good idea to kiss a cobra on the back of its head. And he was quoted as saying:

“These king cobras know I provide them with food and fresh water so they’re not going to go out of their way to do harm to me when I do no harm to them whatsoever."

Um, right. He was planning to open his cobra sanctuary to the public in July - but a few days before the scheduled debut, he died after one of the snakes bit him.

Recurring bad animal briefs

Animals continue to prove that nothing reported on this blog is an isolated incident:

- In our last post we saw crows attacking a police station in Washington State; is it really more than coincidence that bald eagles are doing the same at a post office in Alaska? Because eagles are a protected species, Reuters reports:

There is not much that residents can do about overly bold bald eagles other than to post warning signs, take steps to avoid the fierce birds and wear hats.

- Despite that report on the high cost to British taxpayers of rescuing animals that have gotten themselves into ridiculous positions, a Welsh fire brigade responded to a call to get a sheep down off a roof. A "spokesman," presumably not one of the people who actually had to risk life and limb, downplayed the seriousness of the situation:

"It was certainly an interesting call-out, it's not where you'd expect to find a sheep, really quite funny. It brightened up our weekend, that's for sure."

- And finally, for those of you who are still tempted to rationalize all this bad animal behavior, from another story on Dusty the cat burglar of San Mateo:

"We always try to find meaning in what animals do. But maybe he just does this because it's fun."

Animals don't need violent video games

Some people still cling to the illusion that animals are less violent than humans, that they only kill because they need to eat.

It's hard to use this excuse for the snow leopard in Pakistan who recently killed 68 goats in a single night, far more than it could consume. Not only is this animal wasteful at best, it clearly doesn't know which side its goat is buttered on, because now the slaughter is causing disputes between the farmers that own the goats and conservationists. That is, conservationists who want to protect the snow leopard. Way to help the people who are trying to save your furry butt, huh?

There are also plenty of animals that kill other animals that they don't eat even a little bit of. We've seen before that dolphins, hiding behind their inexplicably charming reputations, kill both the young of harbor porpoises, and baby dolphins as well. A recent study suggests that the culprits are young males taking out their sexual frustration. Even the researcher, presumably well acquainted with the truth about dolphins, was appalled by their behavior:

In one particularly violent attack, three dolphins corralled their victim before seven others joined them to ram the porpoise to death. Cotter found most shocking the fact that two dolphins remained behind to play with the carcass before pushing it towards his boat. "It was almost like they said: 'We're done playing with it, here you go'."

But we can be thankful that there are at least a few children who won't grow up with illusions about the peaceful nature of our fellow creatures, thanks to one lion at a zoo in England:

Kids see a lion eat cuddly zoo animal

The cute binturong - also called a bearcat - was one of a pair to climb a tree before dropping into the big cat den at Chessington World of Adventure.

Jason Harcombe, visiting with his two-year-old son Oscar, said: "The poor animal didn't stand a chance. The lions jumped on it straight away and killed it.

"The lioness brought the body up to the glass and then she and her mate just ripped it apart in front of us."

Now there's an animal who is really trying to help me do my job here on this blog.


Lion caught in the act in photo from the Daily Mail.

No kind of animal is safe

As a reader of this blog, you presumably know better than to let your children have pets. But you probably think there's no harm in letting them indulge in a few furry stuffed toys.

You'd be wrong. Not only do stuffed animals encourage the unrealistically positive view of animals that we strive to stamp out here. But they can cause major problems of their own, as police in Hampshire, England discovered last week, when a citizen called to report a white tiger loose in a local field.

Officials responded in force, appropriately for such a dangerous animal, with a police helicopter and trained staff from the local Marwell Zoo, and evacuated a nearby golf course. The animal was fairly immobile, but that did not initially raise their suspicions. And you can't blame them, given how lazy most cats are, especially in the middle of the day. In fact we've noted before that tigers sleep nearly sixteen hours per day.

But then the helicopter's thermal imaging equipment detected no body heat and the animal didn't react to being buffeted by the winds generated by the helicopter. Finally, the downdraft caused the creature to roll over, revealing that it was a large stuffed toy.

Watch live footage of the culprit and a video interview with the chief inspector of the local police at The Telegraph. He seems like the kind of level headed guy you could trust to respond to a real animal emergency, and now he's had a practice drill. If I was a real tiger, I'd take my troublemaking elsewhere.

Three Bad-Animal Weekend

For the holiday, a few quick headlines, posted in-between Blogger outages:

Mutant turtles terrorize London ponds

California family finds mountain lion in garage

Nazi scientists tried to create an army of talking dogs


Also, it's a good time to make sure you didn't miss the classic post about squirrels behaving badly on Memorial Day.

Photo of poster publicizing fearsome Maryland relative of those London terrapins by Flickr user clearly ambiguous.

More on the traitors in our bosoms

Perhaps you scoffed at the little-known risk revealed in my recent post about the man who had three toes eaten by his cute little dogs. Perhaps, like the spokesperson for the animal control department quoted in that story, you comforted yourself that this was a unique aberration.

Then it's particularly important that you don't miss this headline:

Man Wakes Up To Find Dog Ate 3 Of His Toes

In this latest case, the victim, who fell asleep on the couch, was an Oregon man who's lost the feeling in his feet due to diabetes.

Despite how this animal was clearly taking advantage of the man's illness, a veterinarian who was quoted on the matter made excuses:

Roseburg veterinarian Alan Ross says that the dog may have been trying to rid his owner of dead tissue, and says he may have been attracted to the foot if it were infected or gangrenous.

Ross says the dog doesn't need corrective action because it wasn't "acting out of meanness."

It's unclear how this fellow can be so sure about the motivation of the perpetrator. Last I checked, vet schools don't include courses on canine mind-reading. Personally, from here on in, I'm going to make sure I'm at least wearing socks next time I stretch out on the sofa.

And one more item today, to continue our recent feline theme: a bit of bad animal fiction.... OR IS IT?




Photo from Flickr user late night movie, who was lucky to wake up just in time.

Who's in charge?

I recently noted a disturbing fact: there are nearly three times as many posts about dogs on this blog as there are about cats.

Given how many cats share our homes, this can't be right. I have long suspected that cats have the power to cloud our minds. Why else do we continue to feed them and pay their bills when they no longer serve a useful purpose for most of us?

Now a scientific study suggests that my suspicions may have some basis in fact.

Researchers discovered that pet cats are skilled at manipulating their owners into feeding and petting them. They even suggest that our relationship with a cat is like a relationship with another human - a particularly demanding sort of human, in fact: "Both cat and human infant are, at least in part, in control of when and what they are fed!" one author told Discovery News.

You may like to think you're too smart to fall for it, too tough to be bossed around by a small furry animal. But you may not even be aware of what's happening. The scientists found that the methods cats use are so subtle, they're basically subliminal messages: in some cases "a single upright tail move" is all it takes to get the owner's affectionate petting.

So if cats can do that, I have to wonder: are they somehow preventing me from writing about what they're up to? Could they be tired of settling for merely free room, board, and petting? Any plot would have the advantage that it's very hard to raise our suspicions about cats. We saw in my last post that they've figured out they can even steal the neighbor's underwear and people just laugh.

And news from elsewhere is even more unnerving. The new cat at the British Prime Minister's residence recently had to be bodily removed when trying to crash a photo op.

Larry the cat was hired merely to eliminate rodents. But perhaps he was interested in infiltrating the government for a very different purpose. If he'd managed to grab the mike, what would he have announced?

Klepto-kitties escalate their efforts

A cat in San Mateo, California has gotten a bit of attention lately for a three year long spree of burglaries.

Dusty's owners say he's stolen around 600 items: gloves, shoes, toys, even underwear. You can watch a TV interview here, with night camera footage filmed by Animal Planet that leaves no doubt what is going on.

He's a hard-working criminal, and also thorough: Dusty will make two trips to get both members of a pair of socks or shoes, and one neighbor reports that the cat stole her bikini top, and then came back for the bottom.

The coverage is all very lightheared, and one of Dusty's owners says that the victims don't complain: "I think they find it kind of funny."

But with the usual lack of in-depth investigative research that is sadly typical of TV, what's being missed here is that this is not an isolated incident. On this blog, we reported this past summer on a cat named Oscar in England, who stole dozens of socks, various ladies' and children's underwear, builder’s gloves, a knee-pad, a paint roller, rubber gloves and gardening gloves.

At almost the same time, Houdini, a cat in Seattle, was stealing gloves from all over the neighborhood. His owners put out a bright orange bucket where neighbors could come and look for the missing property.

And a couple of years before that, a cat named Frankie in England was in the news for stealing dozens of cat toys from nearby homes.

In that early case, Frankie stuck mostly to cat toys except for a few old socks and rubbish. Houdini stole human possessions, but nothing too valuable - worn-out gardening and latex gloves that wouldn't cause too much of a ruckus.

But Oscar and Dusty show that the trend is moving in an ominous direction: the lastest culprits have discovered that they can even steal our most intimate garments without raising more than a giggle.

They've laid the groundwork. They're living in our homes. Where will they take it next?

No laughing matter

The British make life much too easy for their bad cats. A couple of weeks ago we saw that instead of getting the feline obesity problem under control, they now have special cat doors for fat cats.

And there's one type of bad behavior that's much easier in Britain than it is in the US: making false reports to the police. We've seen a canine culprit before, but now a cat has done it too. It's an simple prank there because the emergency number is 999, something even an illiterate creature can pull off:

Retired lecturer Howard Moss was woken by police officers in the early hours of the morning demanding to know why he had contacted them.

In bleary-eyed embarrassment he assured the officers that he was alone in his house in Brynmill, Swansea, South Wales, and had certainly not made the call.

'The police insisted that it was not a spook call because it had originated from inside the house,' the 64-year-old said today.

Then one of them noticed Ginger the cat sitting on the phone and he twigged right away. He said "The cat's done it", it was the only possibility.'

He said his 12-year-old pet had recently taken to sprawling over a small downstairs telephone table in the evenings.

'Ginger had somehow managed to ease off the receiver and by a bit of a miracle one of his paws had pushed the 9 button on the large keypad three times.

'Obviously, he couldn't leave a message but when the police got no answer they treated the call seriously.'

Unfortunately, this attitude faded quickly, and all involved failed to take the implications seriously:

He added: 'When the police realised what had happened they were quite amused. I asked them if they had ever had a call-out like that before and they shook their heads.... The more I think about it, the funnier it seems.'

It's obviously far too simple for British felines to both embarass their owners and tie up crucial public safety resources. If they were to coordinate their efforts, and distract a large number of officers at once - Instead of laughing, shouldn't we be worried about what they might be planning?


Cat up to no good by Flickr user cbowns.

Doing it wrong, again

Last time we saw conservationists trying to prepare baby pandas for life in the wild by confusing them about the difference between a panda and a human in a costume.

Today we look at another case of humans trying to solve animal problems in a deranged fashion.

At the same time that we're driving wild animals to extinction, we're loving our own pets to death by overfeeding them. In one poll, vets said that 45% of their canine patients and 57% of the felines were overweight.

(And it's not just pets. Strangely, we're such a bad influence that some animals are getting fatter just by being nearby. A recent scientific study found that not only are average weights for lab animals going up, so are those of the feral animals like rodents roaming our streets.)

Of course, where there's a problem, there'll be an entrepeneur trying to make money solving it. Cats don't read diet books or join weight loss support groups, but in England, your cat won't have to worry if he gets too fat to fit through his cat door:

More Than pet insurance and TV vet Joe Inglis have teamed up to launch ‘Cat Flap of the Future,’ an extra large cat flap with sliding doors operated by a paw recognition system.

At 32cm by 35cm, the fat feline’s futuristic dream is twice the width of a regular cat flap.

And if you’re wondering how your overweight moggy will make it to the cat flap, you don’t need to worry on that front either.

The new invention also includes a cat conveyer belt to carry your feline friend from ground to flap level.

People: think about it. Your pet can't open the can or the cabinet on its own. You feed it with a measuring cup. If it's overweight, how about you try feeding it less?

Holiday Cartoon Advice Linkarama

If, despite faithfully reading this blog, you are still inclined to buy your cats a present for the holidays, consider the following important message from Cat Vs Human.



Also, I hope you've read my earlier post and resolved to stop encouraging bad animals in the new year. Even so, it can sometimes be hard to recognize the part we play by thoughtlessly rewarding bad behavior instead of good. Check out the brilliant illustration of this concept by The Oatmeal and perhaps it will stick in your mind. Be strong!

Book Deadline Linkarama

While I am busy rewriting every sentence in this book manuscript which is due in less than two weeks, I swear, every single goddamn sentence, please enjoy a few videos:

-Hyperbole and a Half shows why cats and children do not mix (advisory: loud dramatic soundtrack)

-If you still don't believe you should fear cats: Cat vs. alligator. (Spoiler: the cat wins.)

-And wrap up two weeks of cats with an instructional video on how to wrap a cat for Christmas. That'll show it who's in charge, right? (thanks to our friends at Monkey Goggles.)


Intellectual Monkey by Flickr user Woodenship.

When cats go postal, part 3: Taking action

Last week, this blog's hard-hitting investigative journalism blew the lid off of the secret epidemic of cats attacking the mailman. As is so often the case, we found that the animals weren't the only issue: Rather than reacting appropriately to this feline violence, many owners simply refuse to admit there is a problem.

Fortunately, a few attack-cat owners are better role models. Dipity's owner took the news with resignation when she got a letter threatening to suspend her delivery service. She was surprised - "You hear about guard dogs injuring postmen all the time - but not cats," she said - but could not deny the truth:

I can't say I blame them for threatening to cut me off. I love Dipity to bits - she's adorable - but I'd be the first to admit she's a little terror. All she wants to do is pick fights. When I took her to be neutered she tried to gouge lumps out of the vet and was hissing at all the dogs.

But if you really want to see how this sort of thing should be done, there's the owner of Blackie, a cat who counted at least five postmen, one police officer, five paper boys, one takeaway driver and one construction worker as his victims. After one gory attack on a mailman, she finally took responsibility:

At the door to Ann Hogben's home in Ramsgate, Kent, is a newly erected sign which simply reads: "Warning: Dangerous Cat - Has attacked 13 people in the last six years."

The turning point came in the last few weeks when Blackie attacked a postman as he pushed envelopes through her letter box. Unaware of what lurked behind the door his latest victim was left with a series of open wounds.

"I came home and Blackie was sitting there like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, but I knew something was wrong because he had blood on his claws."

Ms. Hogben insists that with her, Blackie is as cuddly as can be, but she acknowledges that he has "problems with people in uniform" and "authority issues."

She's not just posting the warning sign and expecting people to defend themselves, either: from that point on, she promised, she'd be locking Blackie in another room whenever there is a knock at the door. I feel we have to ask the owners of Boo and Magic and Georgi and all the others: Is that so hard?



Don't mess with the cat on the mailbox in that photo by Flickr user cindy47452.

When cats attack, part 2: Felines go postal

Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night keep the mailman from his duty. But, in England at least, claws are a different matter.

As we saw on Monday, two stories this year of cats attacking postmen got this blog's bad-animal-sense twitching. Was this just the tip of a feline iceberg?

In fact, fairly cursory research revealed that these stories crop up quite regularly, and the cats are not the only problem: it's also their owners.

-In August 2002, a carrier attacked by cats called Boo Boo and Yogi told a dramatic story:

"I put up with it the first couple of times, but the last scratch was quite deep. Blood was dripping on to the driveway and over other letters in my bag. After the attack the cat jumped up on the window sill and looked out at me as if to say 'got you that time'."

The owner, as in our previous cases, was disbelieving:

Mr Davies said: "I can't understand the attacks. They are both really well behaved cats but are very playful."

Perhaps, in another instance of us being two countries divided by a common language, the Brits use the word "playful" to mean "bloodthirsty"? (It would explain a lot about their soccer culture, I suppose.)

- In May 2004, a family had to install a mailbox at their front gate because the attacks of their cat Bat meant that postmen were at risk approaching the door.

The Coyne family realised they had a problem with their territorial pet when an official letter from the Royal Mail arrived complaining about their "guard cat".

It said the postman had been scratched and "more incredible than this, your cat has been known to jump onto the postman's leg and dig its claws in".

-In December 2007, Georgi left a postman bleeding after scratching his hands as he put letters through the door. Her owner, typically, denied any malicious intent: "I think she only wants the letters but obviously she must just accidentally catch his fingers."

-In June 2009, another owner poo-pooed the threat when he got a letter threatening suspension of delivery:

Mr Ridge said friends and neighbours thought the threat was laughable and he plans to ignore the letter.

"We were not around when this happened, but it seems some mail was put through the letterbox and their hand was scratched.

"Illy is only a kitten and I am sure she was just playing."

Mr Ridge, who runs a fruit and veg business, added: "Everyone finds it so amusing that our playful kitten has been mistaken for some savage beast."

- In October 2009, the owners of Magic got that same letter after he dashed out his cat door and attacked the carrier three days in a row. The head of delivery services had to bravely come to their house to deliver the news as well, because, of course, they couldn't see the problem:

"I told them my cat wouldn't hurt a fly... He's a soft cat. We've never seen him attack someone and we've never heard of him hurting anyone before. I can't believe they are saying this."

As these stories show, cat attacks on the mail are not only a regular occurrence, the problem is compounded by the owners, who react with either disbelief and laughter.

But as a postal spokesperson said in the case of Bat:"The safety of our people is paramount and attacks by animals are not amusing when you're at the receiving end."

Fortunately, some attack-cat owners are better role models. We'll turn to those encouraging stories on Monday.

When cats attack.... part 1

Cats appear strangely infrequently on this blog. Given how many of them there are and how closely they live with us, you'd expect to see reports of their misbehavior frequently. Is it possible that they're actually a creature that's less troublesome than average?

Recently two different stories of feline misbehavior came to this blog's attention and started a train of thought that suggests otherwise.

In the first, in New Zealand, a cat actually managed to delay train service, a pretty impressive accomplishment for a small animal:

New Zealand railway officials said a train was delayed for half an hour due to injuries the driver sustained from a confrontation with a stowaway cat....

The cat is believed to have hopped aboard the train at the Wairarapa station and was discovered when the train stopped at Wellington station.

The train driver attempted to catch the feline in a box but wound up with scratches that required bandages. The train was delayed while a replacement driver was located.

In the second, in England, a family has been threatened with loss of mail delivery service because their cat scratched the postman.

The home has a mail slot through the door, about six inches from the ground, the perfect height for a cat entertainment device, if by "entertainment" you mean sticking your claws out and slashing at anything that comes near.

The owners poo-pooed the risk posed by their the cat Lana, who their children playfully call Lana Banana. "She's really docile, I can pick her up like a baby and she won't bat an eyelid," said their mother, and insisted that the cat had just been "playful" when it swiped at the mail carrier's hand as he was pushing mail through the slot.

Now, you may laugh at this story. After all, it's funny because this never happens - isn't it dogs that are supposed to attack the postman?

Well, not so fast. Back in the spring, this blog made brief mention of another English cat whose behavior actually did result in mail delivery being stopped to his owners' residence.

Tiger's owner also poo-pooed the authorities' excessive reaction to reports that he attacked mail carriers as they approached the door and chased them down the path. "Tiger is 19 years old, he dribbles when he sleeps and snores - he sleeps for 20 hours a day," she scoffed.

One case of a cat attacking a mailman, fine, but two? In fact, in the story of Lana, a Royal Mail spokesman was quoted as follows: "Unfortunately, animal attacks are a hazard faced by our employees and we record around 5,000 animal attacks a year on our postmen and women."

It was clearly time for this blog to research this situation further. Come back on Thursday to see what we dug up on this previously unnoticed feline menace.

Banned Thoughts about Bad Behavior

In honor of Banned Books Week, today we consider a book about animals that could never be published today.

Sadly, this book would probably never get to the point of being banned. It would never get written, due to the self-censorship or self-delusion practiced by most writers about animals nowadays.

Who's Who in the Zoo: A Natural History of Mammals was produced by the WPA Federal Writers' Project in New York and published in 1942.

The writers were unconstrained by modern notions of political correctness. Happily informing us which animals are used for their fur, desired by big-game hunters for trophies, and good to eat, this book also advises that all sorts of wildlife make suitable pets, including marmosets, coatis, skunks and raccoons.

The authors also have no qualms about insulting animals where it's called for and revealing unpleasant truths about animal behavior. Here are just a few instructive excerpts:

Other species of South American monkeys are less surly in captivity than the Howler.

When a Marmoset is mischievous a slap will not cause it to behave, but it quickly obeys when its ears are pinched or bitten.

Domesticated (Indian) elephants are used to capture the wild ones. Two tame elephants will squeeze a wild one between them, holding until their masters have bound its legs with chains.

The Babirusa is one of the ugliest of the wild swine.

The Guanaco is so stupid that the native Patagonian Indians are able to surround the herds and club many of their members to death.

The mother (Tiger) rarely deserts the young in infancy, unless hard pressed. But she has been known to eat her kittens when food was scarce.

The Camel is known to have served man for the last 5000 years, but despite long domestication it has a very ugly disposition and is not attached to its master.

One also has to admire their skill at getting in a dig at large groups of animals while weakly complimenting one of them, as exemplified by this remark about the capybara:

Largest of all living rodents, the Capybaras are the least obnoxious

It's sad that so few of us are carrying on this noble tradition of honesty and devotion to the truth. This blog, at least, promises to continue to uphold it.


Babirusa by Flickr user cactusbeetroot.