Animal Excursions News Briefs

A selection of recent cases of animals on the loose in interesting ways:

-In Ireland, an elephant made a break from a circus and went on an outing to a local shopping center - well, its parking lot, anyway - reportedly because she didn't want to take a bath. (See video here.)

-In Italy, a dog decided to go on a visit to its owner's girlfriend:

The female pooch walked herself to the train station in the town's center, waited on the appropriate track at the right time, then boarded the regional line towards the home town of her owner's girlfriend, seated in the car she habitually took with her human companion.

Nice try, but she didn't make it. As we've seen happen before, when train staff saw the dog disembark alone she was apprehended and taken to an animal shelter.

-And another case of a classic type: In Russia, someone unwisely left three dogs in a car with the engine running. The dogs got the car into gear and drove down the road till they crashed into another vehicle. That driver ran off to get police, who returned to find the dogs had made their getaway. Fortunately they were located nearby and apprehended before they could do more damage.

Don't count your cows before they are captured

It's been a summer of vastly different fates for animals on the run. Elephants that ran away from the circus went peacefully with police who nabbed them before they could catch a bus out of town. The majority of monkeys have eluded the authorities, with the minority being captured without harm.

But not all have gotten off so easily. An emu that was on the loose for two weeks in Maryland was shot by state troopers:

"We did it because residents had expressed concerns about their safety and the safety of their children... There also had been complaints that the emu was getting on roads, blocking traffic and causing hazards."

The same fate befell an escaped macaque in Tennessee who attacked a woman while she was washing her car:

"I had no idea he was even there. Then I could feel his teeth in the calf of my leg, and I really didn't know at that point what it was, I just knew I had to get it off me."

The monkey also injured a responding officer, at which point another shot and killed it.

For one animal in Germany, it could still go either way. Yvonne the cow escaped from a farm in Bavaria in May. She's been on the lam ever since, and become a sort of celebrity - but like with many reality stars, people are divided strongly for and against.

The police, who've failed to catch Yvonne all these months, have decided to authorize officers to shoot her. Apparently the last straw was when she jumped out in front of a police car, startling the officers and then despite being so close, getting away. (Authorities claim that such behavior proves she's a danger to traffic, but one has to wonder whether embarrassment is also a factor.)

On the other side, an animal sanctuary has actually purchased the cow, and is searching for her with all-terrain vehicles and infrared camera.

These people are such bunny-huggers that they would prefer not to use even tranquilizer darts - and instead, actually think it might work to appeal to sentiment. They've also purchased a former stall-mate of Yvonne's as well as that cow's calf and hope this will lure her in."After all, she has had a calf herself," says a representative with a bad case of maudlin anthropomorphism.

Yvonne might want to be aware of yet another recent escaped animal story as she considers her options: Back in July, a rhea escaped from an estate in Suffolk, England. The RSPCA was called in to expertly and humanely recapture it - after which the bird died while recovering from the tranquiliser.

So, even those well-meaning bunnyhuggers might end up not doing you any favors, Yvonne: maybe it would be best to give yourself up.

Elephants make half-hearted bid for freedom

I'm having one of those months where it seems like it might be a good idea to run away and join the circus. Some elephants in Germany had the opposite idea, though, when they strolled away from their enclosure at a travelling circus and tried to catch a bus. According to Reuters:

Dunia, a 40-year-old Indian elephant, and her counterpart Daela, a 25-year-old African elephant, were apprehended by police near the western city of Hanover over the weekend nonchalantly munching on tree leaves and looking for all the world as if they were waiting for the bus.

A police spokesman downplayed the seriousness of the situation:

"The two elephants were quite cooperative and peaceful. Everyone was amused."

He sounds unaware of what a close call he had, given how frequently elephants commit violence against humans, both in the wild and in captivity. (Check out Elephant News, where they collect these stories.)

But fortunately, these elephants did not resist the authorities - and their much-vaunted intelligence failed them as far as their escape plan. It must have seemed easy - the bus stop was only a couple hundred feet away from their circus enclosure. But aside from the consideration of whether they'd have actually fit on the bus, the pachyderms made a couple of serious miscalculations. Not only was the police station practically right next door, but also, the bus stop was out of service for the summer.

So they were both badly-behaved and not that bright - or maybe they just didn't try that hard. Why give up the adoration of the crowds - and guaranteed meals and a place to sleep - for the uncertainties of life on the lam? So if you're still in that same dead-end job instead of chasing your dreams, maybe you shouldn't throw stones, huh?


Elephants leading the glamourous life from Circus No Spin Zone.

Animals vs. Vehicles Week, part two

Turkeys aren't the only animals that are after our vehicles. We've seen bears try to steal them, dogs crashing them into storefronts, driving them over their owners, and trying to eat them, and all kinds of wildlife blocking traffic and causing collisions.

And no matter how large or small the creature, it can find a way to do damage. On the one extreme you've got the elephant in the photo above that flipped a car into a ditch (see the rest of the photos here.)

On the other, Mazda recently recalled 65,000 cars when it was discovered that spiders had taken a fancy to nesting in the fuel system of their Mazda6 sedan.

The yellow sac spiders were building webs in vent lines, and it was feared that the blockage could build up pressure in the fuel tank, causing cracks and perhaps even fires.

It's still unknown how the spiders got in or why they prefer this model of Mazda, but don't be reassured by the specificity of their taste in vehicles: now they've been found in some Hondas as well.

So before you rest easy that your make and model hasn't been involved in these reports: have you actually looked in your engine's fuel system lately?

Banned Thoughts about Bad Behavior

In honor of Banned Books Week, today we consider a book about animals that could never be published today.

Sadly, this book would probably never get to the point of being banned. It would never get written, due to the self-censorship or self-delusion practiced by most writers about animals nowadays.

Who's Who in the Zoo: A Natural History of Mammals was produced by the WPA Federal Writers' Project in New York and published in 1942.

The writers were unconstrained by modern notions of political correctness. Happily informing us which animals are used for their fur, desired by big-game hunters for trophies, and good to eat, this book also advises that all sorts of wildlife make suitable pets, including marmosets, coatis, skunks and raccoons.

The authors also have no qualms about insulting animals where it's called for and revealing unpleasant truths about animal behavior. Here are just a few instructive excerpts:

Other species of South American monkeys are less surly in captivity than the Howler.

When a Marmoset is mischievous a slap will not cause it to behave, but it quickly obeys when its ears are pinched or bitten.

Domesticated (Indian) elephants are used to capture the wild ones. Two tame elephants will squeeze a wild one between them, holding until their masters have bound its legs with chains.

The Babirusa is one of the ugliest of the wild swine.

The Guanaco is so stupid that the native Patagonian Indians are able to surround the herds and club many of their members to death.

The mother (Tiger) rarely deserts the young in infancy, unless hard pressed. But she has been known to eat her kittens when food was scarce.

The Camel is known to have served man for the last 5000 years, but despite long domestication it has a very ugly disposition and is not attached to its master.

One also has to admire their skill at getting in a dig at large groups of animals while weakly complimenting one of them, as exemplified by this remark about the capybara:

Largest of all living rodents, the Capybaras are the least obnoxious

It's sad that so few of us are carrying on this noble tradition of honesty and devotion to the truth. This blog, at least, promises to continue to uphold it.


Babirusa by Flickr user cactusbeetroot.

Plenty of room to swing a lizard

Elephants: I have concluded that they are the dolphins of the land. People are totally infatuated with them: they're so intelligent, they have amazing memories, they mourn their dead, blah blah blah.

Somehow we manage to ignore the inconvenient facts, such as highway robbery and alcohol abuse and drunken rampages.

And while elephants may have heartwarming relationships with their fellow elephants, watch out if you're NOT an elephant. Even leaving aside the humans they kill on their rampages - as well as the occasional zookeeper - they're not very nice to their fellow animals.

Take just one other species: there are reports of elephants serially murdering rhinos, as well as video of a male elephant, to put it delicately, sexually harrassing one.

And what's the elephant doing in that picture at the top of this post? In India this elephant captured this LIVE lizard, and for several days, tossed it and swung it around, sometimes dropping it and picking it back up.

The story reporting this incident says of elephants, "Some experts even believe the animal possesses an intuition that allows them to imagine what other elephants are feeling."

Thanks to the persistence of one lucky photographer, now the world knows that their empathy obviously doesn't extend to reptiles. That probably makes them about the same as the majority of humans, of course, but is that any excuse?

See more photos of this despicable animal cruelty at the Daily Mail.

An elephant with a different sort of drinking problem

There is nothing I can add to this story headlined "Elephant picture explains mystery of leaking jacuzzi" in the Telegraph. All you need is the photo caption:

An elephant nicknamed Troublesome is snapped taking a drink from the pool at Etali Safari Lodge, South Africa. Susan Potgieter, owner of the lodge, said: "When I first saw the photograph of her drinking I couldn't believe it. It was something of a relief because we had been trying to work out why the pool had been draining so quickly for weeks but couldn't find a leak anywhere."

(If you missed our post on the more usual sort of elephant drinking problem it's here.)

Brief bad behavior updates

-In a recent post, a passing mention was made of elephants attending prenatal classes.

I'd have made a bigger point of this if I'd realized it was the start of a trend. Now we see elephants being taught to play basketball.

I'm concerned that these attempts to infiltrate our educational system are just the tip of the iceberg - an ominous step up from the animals getting fake online degrees. If there are any college admissions personnel reading this blog, please be on the alert and report if you get any applications that smell of pachyderm.

-In another recent post we debunked the motivations of an orangutan that has become famous for taking photographs.

We are confident that readers of this blog will be equally unimpressed by chimps who are making a movie and will not be fooled into buying Valentines gifts painted by penguins. Check out the link at Zooborns for more photos and description of this flightless artistic hoax.

Animals being treated humanly

As we've seen in the last four posts, some animals don't know their place, doing things that by all rights should only be done by humans.

But as this blog shows again and again, sometimes we only have ourselves to blame. It's no surprise if animals act like people if we treat them like people. This sort of thing is getting out of hand, and I don't just mean dressing dogs in clothes. I'm talking about stuff like pre-natal classes for elephants.

This trend has finally reached its pinnacle: two researchers have proposed that because dolphins are so intelligent, they should be considered "non-human persons."

As reported by the UK Times Online, the scientists base their argument on research showing that dolphins may be smarter than chimps, can recognize themselves in a mirror, pass on cultural activities, have complex problem-solving abilities, and blah blah blah. You know the sort of thing.

You might be surprised at this conclusion, but this blog has decided to support this proposal. Yes, we've seen that dolphins are gang rapists, babykillers, and pose a serious danger to innocent (if misguided)humans.

But you know what? It's about time we start treating dolphins in the same way that we treat human persons who do all of those things. I don't suggest that we should trust dolphins themselves to be the dolphin police like in the logo in the photo above, but as long as we can work out a system to arrest them and bring them to trial, this blog is fully in favor.


Inexplicable Turkish motorcycle police logo thanks to Flickr user noneck.

Why did the creature cross the road? Part 2

To mess with the minds of a couple of innocent midwesterners:

AP - A couple driving home from church nearly slammed into a giant pachyderm that had escaped from a nearby circus late Wednesday. "Didn't have time to hit the brakes. The elephant blended in with the road," driver Bill Carpenter said Thursday. "At the very last second I said 'elephant!"'

Carpenter, 68, said he swerved his SUV at the last second and ended up sideswiping the 29-year-old female elephant on U.S. 81 in Enid, about 80 miles (129 kilometres)north of Oklahoma City.

"So help me Hanna, had I hit that elephant, not swerved, it would have knocked it off its legs, and it would have landed right on top of us," he said. "We'd have been history."

...After sideswiping the elephant, his wife, Deena, flagged some people down and used their cellphone to call police.

"The dispatcher didn't believe her: 'You hit a what?"' he said. "I told my wife, I don't know whether to cry or laugh."

The elephant, which escaped from a circus, got off easy, with only a broken tusk and a leg wound, which was treated by a local veterinarian.


A sign that they need in OK by Flickr user victoriapeckham.

Elephant Week, Part 3: Highway Robbery

Drink isn't the only thing that prompts bad behavior in elephants. It's not uncommon for hungry elephants to damage food crops, like many other animals. But some elephants repay human kindness by committing crimes: in Thailand, denied their usual handout of food from truck drivers, they stopped them on the road and robbed them at trunk-point:

Yoo said the elephants had learned to pick up sugarcane dropped by drivers who took pity on them, but that the practice had taught them dangerous new habits.

He told the daily of incidents where the leader of the herd had stood in the road to block the vehicle while the others unloaded the produce with their trunks.

Elephant lurking by Flickr user Misterqueue.

Elephant Week, Part 2: Delinquency and Family Breakdown

But what are the drunken elephants drinking to forget?

One study suggests that some rampaging elephants are actually taking revenge on humans. But it makes an even more interesting point: Like people, they've become hooligans because of the breakdown of the family, resulting from poaching in the 1970s-80s:

Many herds lost their matriarch and had to make do with inexperienced "teenage mothers". Combined with a lack of older bulls, this appears to have created a generation of "teenage delinquent" elephants...
A study...showed that a lack of older bulls to lead by example had created gangs of aggressive young males with a penchant for violence towards each other and other species.

T-shirt from Cat and Girl, buy it here.

Elephant Week, part 1: Drunkness and Violence

The incident reported last week is only the tip of the rampaging elephant iceberg.

Drunkenness is repeatedly reported as a cause of elephants behaving badly in Sri Lanka and and in India, where they steal fermenting rice beer,these drunken brawls can be fatal to humans. But, like most drunks, they're a danger to themselves as well,like the ones that electrocuted themselves messing with power lines.

However, apparently it's a myth that elephants in Africa get drunk from fermented fruit, in large part because they and their fellow animals are too greedy to let fruit lie around long enough to rot.

Drinking Elephant by Flickr user Valerie Everett

Elephant loses it in India

Couldn't stand being asked one more time "How do you spell that?" perhaps?

Kochi, Mar 2 (ANI): A tame elephant in Kochi recently turned violent and damaged a vehicle on a busy road while being led to take part in a temple festival.

The jumbo known as 'Sankarankulangara Ayyappan' ran amok while being taken for bath early morning.

It managed to damage an autorikshaw by tearing through its roof before being brought under control by the locals.

No casualties were reported.

(Photo from Reuters)