Animals being treated humanly

As we've seen in the last four posts, some animals don't know their place, doing things that by all rights should only be done by humans.

But as this blog shows again and again, sometimes we only have ourselves to blame. It's no surprise if animals act like people if we treat them like people. This sort of thing is getting out of hand, and I don't just mean dressing dogs in clothes. I'm talking about stuff like pre-natal classes for elephants.

This trend has finally reached its pinnacle: two researchers have proposed that because dolphins are so intelligent, they should be considered "non-human persons."

As reported by the UK Times Online, the scientists base their argument on research showing that dolphins may be smarter than chimps, can recognize themselves in a mirror, pass on cultural activities, have complex problem-solving abilities, and blah blah blah. You know the sort of thing.

You might be surprised at this conclusion, but this blog has decided to support this proposal. Yes, we've seen that dolphins are gang rapists, babykillers, and pose a serious danger to innocent (if misguided)humans.

But you know what? It's about time we start treating dolphins in the same way that we treat human persons who do all of those things. I don't suggest that we should trust dolphins themselves to be the dolphin police like in the logo in the photo above, but as long as we can work out a system to arrest them and bring them to trial, this blog is fully in favor.


Inexplicable Turkish motorcycle police logo thanks to Flickr user noneck.