Animals finding our weak spots

Usually I wait till I've got three examples before declaring something a trend. But when I read this story about a moose getting into a hospital in Alaska, I knew it couldn't wait.

Although Anchorage is a big city, they seem rather blase about these large ungulates, judging from the way the hospital's spokeperson tried to downplay the incident. While the animal actually getting inside the building was a first, she said, they often get into the parking garage. And while the news reported that the moose "quickly garnered its own private security force akin to a presidential Secret Service detail," the spokeperson insisted that "the moose was never a nuisance."

But what should concern the rest of us most is the moose's method of entry: that first photo up top should be the clue. It got in via the automatic doors, bringing to mind an incident we reported on this past summer. At a hospital in India, monkeys have learned to get in via the automatic doors:

They have terrorised patients, stealing food, playing with medical equipment, and attacking staff.

Not only have these animals discovered that our technology provides a weak spot in the form of these automatic doors, in both cases, they've targeted hospitals, containing the weakest among us.

How long before more animals realize they can open these doors? And perhaps we should consider: If we're too lazy to open our own doors, maybe we deserve what we get?

Conspiracy protects famous monkey on the lam

Longtime followers of this blog may recall the Tampa Bay Mystery Monkey, a macaque that's been roaming Florida since 2009. We last checked in with this primate when he was sighted taking a dip in a woman's swimming pool and stealing grapefruit from her tree. His frustrated pursuers reported that they'd hit him with bigger and bigger doses of tranq darts to no effect.

The local newspaper has maintained a web page dedicated to coverage of sightings and attempts to capture the monkey, and of course he has his own Facebook page.

But despite this widespread awareness and repeated capture attempts, he's still on the loose - and attentive readers of this blog will not be surprised at the revelation that he's had human help evading the authorities.

The Tampa Bay Times reports that for the last six months the monkey has been living in the yard of a retired couple, where he's allegedly particularly attached to their elderly mother and aged cat:

He waits on the firewood pile for his morning banana and walks ahead of the elderly woman, as if to protect her, as she walks up a long driveway to get the newspaper.

The monkey is gentle with the sickly, old cat, sometimes picking her up and moving her to a sunnier spot on the patio. He loves Oreo cookies, twisting the tops off and licking the frosting. The family has it on video.

A wildlife official was appalled to hear about the sitation. "This is dangerous and someone's going to get seriously hurt, and it's going to cause us to have to kill this animal on site," he said. "What they're doing is they're teaching him not to be cautious around people. In the end, it always ends badly."

And the monkey does seem to have a secret life to some extent, sometimes disappearing for a day or two and returning with a banana or a cookie from somewhere else.

But while the couple say they know he's a wild animal and would never touch him or let him in the house - "He's got fangs," the husband said - they've worked to gain his trust and are so protective of the monkey that they only spoke to reporters on the condition that their names and location be kept secret.

And other professional monkeyhuggers are on their side:

Dr. Agustin Fuentes, an anthropology and primate expert at the University of Notre Dame who has followed the monkey's story for two years, was thrilled to hear of his new home. He saw the latest photos, noting his coat, skin and face indicated a fairly low-stress, healthy life. This, he said, is the happy ending everyone should want for the monkey.

"He needs a family, he needs a social group, and he found it," Fuentes said. "He's never going to leave. The nice woods make him feel comfortable. There are two options: Let him find whatever joy he can get out of life or kill him. I don't see any reason to kill him."

Putting ideas in their heads

If you've been paying attention, you'll know that this blog isn't just about animals that behave badly. It's often about humans who enable their bad behavior. And it doesn't get any worse than this story out of Japan.

What you see in the photo above is a movie screening held at Mt. Takasaki Natural Park in Kanzaki, Oita. (I'm being specific about this so you know exactly where it isn't safe to go if you visit this otherwise lovely, if cute-animal-obsessed, country.) For this event, a special condensed 13-minute version of the film was prepared, no doubt to account for the monkeys' short attention spans. The monkeys were served with special-occasion treats of grapes and bananas, and about 200 people and 400 macaques attended.

These efforts seem merely absurd until you find out exactly what these macaques were watching: It was the new Planet of the Apes movie. You know -- the prequel to the series, the one that shows how the monkeys take over the Earth.

You may poo-poo the notion that this movie will put ideas in these monkeys' heads. Macaques can't learn anything from movies, right? Not so fast. It's been shown, for example, that macaques can learn which are the high-status, dominant monkeys by watching films of them.

And don't forget that these filmgoers aren't just any monkeys. These are are the same macaques that have been known to terrorize and attack innocent civilians, hiding behind their reputation as the adorable "snow monkeys" that take Japanese hot-spring baths and play with snowballs.

You'd think Japan had had enough problems lately, why are they asking for trouble? Or could it be that they're so tired, they're ready to give up and let the monkeys take charge?



Thanks for the tip and translation from the Asahi Shimbun to the Kyoto bureau of Animals Behaving Badly.

Losing the monkey wars in India

From the beginning this blog has been on top of the worldwide macaque problem. These monkeys make trouble everyplace in the world where they live close to humans - we've read about them in Singapore and Japan, but most of all in India, where the problem is compounded by the fact that they are considered sacred, limiting efforts to control them.

The problems with encouraging these monkeys should be obvious to everyone. As a recent report describes it:

More than 90 per cent carry tuberculosis, they swarm central government offices, prowl the landings, and bite through essential internet cables. Many attack people carrying food and even residents relaxing on their verandahs. Delhi's former deputy mayor was killed when he was attacked by a macaque on his apartment balcony and fell to his death.

How do people react to this unarguably bad behavior? Many continue to feed these creatures as a way to honor the god Hanuman. And as we were reminded recently, even when they're invading a hospital, the only culturally acceptable way they've come up with to control this population of well-nourished hooligans is to to rely on the help of other monkeys.

This approach is working about as well as readers of this blog should expect. Langur monkeys led around on a leash are supposed to frighten away the marauding macaques, but for one thing - and are we surprised? - these primates sometimes turn on humans themselves.

And now, it appears that the technique is losing effectiveness - the macaques are losing their fear of the langurs. Even more worrying, they've realized that they have an advantage over a team of one langur and one human:

Anuradha Sawney, a member of the Animal Welfare Board of India and owner of a monkey sanctuary just outside New Delhi, said the macaque's increasing boldness was down to its growing numbers in Delhi and its capacity to adapt to changing circumstances.

"If there are a lot of macaques the group will be strong and they will not be afraid to fight," she said.

But that's not the worst of it. Also, says one voice from the trenches of the monkey wars, they're starting to think ahead:

Diljan Ali, a langur handler, complained that the government hires monkey men to confront the macaques but refuses to compensate them when their animals are defeated. "(The macaques) are very smart. They know when they have the advantage. They attack in numbers and when they do it's pre-planned."

We'll keep an eye on this developing story... let's hope the world primate uprising stays in the movies where it belongs.


In that photo from The Telegraph, note the monkey sitting on top of the cage. They're not that easy to fool.

Don't count your cows before they are captured

It's been a summer of vastly different fates for animals on the run. Elephants that ran away from the circus went peacefully with police who nabbed them before they could catch a bus out of town. The majority of monkeys have eluded the authorities, with the minority being captured without harm.

But not all have gotten off so easily. An emu that was on the loose for two weeks in Maryland was shot by state troopers:

"We did it because residents had expressed concerns about their safety and the safety of their children... There also had been complaints that the emu was getting on roads, blocking traffic and causing hazards."

The same fate befell an escaped macaque in Tennessee who attacked a woman while she was washing her car:

"I had no idea he was even there. Then I could feel his teeth in the calf of my leg, and I really didn't know at that point what it was, I just knew I had to get it off me."

The monkey also injured a responding officer, at which point another shot and killed it.

For one animal in Germany, it could still go either way. Yvonne the cow escaped from a farm in Bavaria in May. She's been on the lam ever since, and become a sort of celebrity - but like with many reality stars, people are divided strongly for and against.

The police, who've failed to catch Yvonne all these months, have decided to authorize officers to shoot her. Apparently the last straw was when she jumped out in front of a police car, startling the officers and then despite being so close, getting away. (Authorities claim that such behavior proves she's a danger to traffic, but one has to wonder whether embarrassment is also a factor.)

On the other side, an animal sanctuary has actually purchased the cow, and is searching for her with all-terrain vehicles and infrared camera.

These people are such bunny-huggers that they would prefer not to use even tranquilizer darts - and instead, actually think it might work to appeal to sentiment. They've also purchased a former stall-mate of Yvonne's as well as that cow's calf and hope this will lure her in."After all, she has had a calf herself," says a representative with a bad case of maudlin anthropomorphism.

Yvonne might want to be aware of yet another recent escaped animal story as she considers her options: Back in July, a rhea escaped from an estate in Suffolk, England. The RSPCA was called in to expertly and humanely recapture it - after which the bird died while recovering from the tranquiliser.

So, even those well-meaning bunnyhuggers might end up not doing you any favors, Yvonne: maybe it would be best to give yourself up.

Summer of Monkey Madness

The last month or so has been prime season for primates running amok. In early June, a pet monkey in Ohio unclipped itself from its leash and ran wild for a couple of hours, attacking and scratching two children before being recaptured. Just a few days later, a rhesus macaque was found to be missing from the Yerkes primate research center in Georgia, and at last report, neighbors are still cowering in their homes in fear of encountering it.

Later in the month, a repeat offender was found to be still on the run: the near-legendary Tampa Bay monkey was caught on video, proving a local's claim that the monkey is still out there and regularly visits his yard.

Monkey trouble has not been confined to North America. Also in June, Cambodian officials finally had to draw the line at a temple where the hooliganish behavior of a couple of hundred monkeys is usually tolerated. After a series of visitors were bitten, the worst of the "gangster" monkeys are being tranquilized and rounded up - this is after attempts to trap them using eggs laced with sleeping pills failed to fool the canny primates.

The most disturbing story of the pack, though, comes from India. In New Delhi, monkeys have learned how to work the new automatic doors at a hospital, and can now stroll in at will. If you think a monkey would be a nice diversion at visiting hours, think again:

They have terrorised patients, stealing food, playing with medical equipment, and attacking staff.

Worse, due to local cultural sensitivities, measures to deal with the problem are severely restricted:

Killing or trapping the monkeys was not an option, due to their association with the Hindu deity Hanuman... Authorities have taken steps to scare off the monkeys. They have hired two larger monkeys to chase them away.

That's right: their only recourse is to rely on other monkeys. Wish them luck.


Cartoon look inside the primate mind from Bizarro Comics thanks to Genius Chimp.

Hey, we're not the only ones!

For some reasons humans cherish the illusion that animals are better than we are. Some still believe that humans are uniquely violent, that animals only kill their own kind when they need to. Well, sure, if when they "need to" is when babies are inconvenient, when they want territory... you get the picture.

Now we may be joined in yet another "unique" human offense by our close relatives. Scientists have discovered that in Uganda, chimpanzees may be hunting red colobus monkeys to extinction.

One less thing for us to feel uniquely guilty about! Although, the monkeys may have a chance: The population has been declining for at least three decades, but lately for some unknown reason, the chimps have been hunting less, so the youngsters aren't learning how to do it as well.

Will the colobus be saved because these kids today are are lazy and shiftless? Only time will tell.



Watch out, that chimp by Flickr user Tambako the Jaguar has teeth and knows how to use them.

Short-attention-span bad animals

Today, we're just going to stick to the headlines:

Street's mail deliveries banned after dog bites postwoman

Rat Sends Plane Scurrying Back To Sea-Tac Gate

Man falls to death from rooftop after monkey attack

Female baboons are victims of domestic abuse

Taser fails to slow moose

Girl finds seven-foot snake in toilet

Rage-inducing chemical on squid eggs turns males into violent thugs

Looks like bad animals all over the world, of all sizes, shapes, orders, and families, are keeping busy victimizing all kinds of innocents in all kinds of ways. On the bright side, after reading that list, isn't it almost a relief to turn back to the human news?

Now that's more like it

A couple of weeks ago we learned of a drive-though zoo where the monkeys had long enjoyed vandalizing vistor's cars. Two years of construction had deprived them of this pleasure, and should have been a good opportunity to break them of the habit. Instead, when the exhibit re-opened, keepers gave the monkeys their own car to demolish in celebration.

In defense of my former profession, not all animal keepers are like this, and today we meet some better role models for how to treat bad animals.

At the London Zoo, there's a walk-through exhibit of Bolivian squirrel monkeys. When it opened in 2005, the zoo proclaimed:

Our revolutionary new enclosure is the result of extensive research into what visitors really want from a modern zoo, and allows them to actually get in with the monkeys and observe them in their natural habitat.

If what visitors really want from a modern zoo is to get in with the monkeys, they're asking for trouble, as anyone who reads this blog knows. Because what you will then have to contend with is, what do monkeys really want?

The answer is never a good one. We've seen them stealing from cars, decimating vineyards, and repeatedly attacking innocent citizens, just to name a few cases.

And people who get up close on purpose usually end up sorry, even when it's a monkey they know personally.

This exhibit provides further proof of the folly of mixing too closely with our fellow primates, although no bloodshed has been involved, at least. The monkeys have taken to stealing visitor's sunglasses, and have accumulated a stash of seven pairs.

This should be no surprise: for one thing, it's not the first case we've seen of an eyewear-thieving monkey. For another, these same monkeys caused a problem a few years ago when they had to be trained to stop stealing visitors' cell phones.

And fortunately, staff are taking action again: they're providing decoy sunglasses coated with bitter apple, hoping the nasty taste will turn the monkeys off the shiny toys.

But you know, now that I think of it, I am having second thoughts about this approach. If the public is foolish enough to want to get up close and personal with monkeys, maybe we should butt out and let them see what monkeys are really like.

Bad animal pays the ultimate penalty

Fred, the baboon in South Africa who learned how to break into cars to steal food, is no more.

Fred was captured and executed by lethal injection when officials decided that he had become a danger to humans. The official explanation reported in the news read in part:

This baboon’s aggression levels had recently escalated to the point where the safety of tourists, motorists and other travellers along the road past Smitswinkel Bay was being threatened. In 2010 he physically attacked and injured three people, of which two required medical attention

The decision was not without controversy, with some locals attempting to win a reprieve till the last minute. As we have seen time and again, there were those who made excuses for Fred's bad behavior, putting the blame on tourists for feeding and encouraging the baboons. One local photographer was interviewed by The Telegraph:

"The problem here was not Fred or any other baboon that can open car doors or house windows – the problem was the people," he said reportedly.

Mr Chapman added that “selfish” tourists had corrupted the animals and “turned them into a Sunday afternoon drive party trick”

Despite these passionate defenses, it seems undeniable that Fred had a role in his own problems. If tourists are handing out food, a monkey could just take it politely and be glad to have it. This blog does not condone the death penalty - if nothing else, it seems unlikely to be successful as a deterrent - but there was no reason that Fred's response to generosity had to involve breaking into cars and attacking people.

Rest in peace, Fred, and let us hope that your sacrifice serves as an example to your fellows: If people think it's cute to give you food, recognize that you've got a good gig. Don't push it, because when humans turn against you, they don't mess around.



Fred has been memorialized in his own Wikipedia entry and elsewhere, such as by photographer of the above, Flickr user vgh.media.

Animals and Transportation week, part 2

It's bad enough, as we saw last time, when animals have the nerve to use our transportation technology to get around.

But for some creatures, an expensive car is nothing more than an invitation to vandalism. Nowhere is this more true than at Longleat Safari Park in England, known for a troop of macaques that do their best to dismantle the vehicles of visitors at the drive-through zoo.

Due to contruction, however, the monkeys been without victims for the last two years. You'd think the management would take this as an opportunity to break them of the habit, but they did exactly the opposite, as one staff member explained:

“We decided to give them their very own car to get them back in training for the new season. It’s clear to see from our test run however, that monkey mischief is still very much front of mind and they plainly haven’t forgotten their fondness for cars!”

The "test run" involved the monkeys given free range over their own Mercedes, which they proceeded to dismantle, as the zoo website describes enthusiastically:

The new toy was delivered last week and the 100 Rhesus monkeys soon set about tearing it apart with gusto.

The cheeky monkeys jumped on the bonnet, ran off with their very own wing mirror and rolled hubcaps gleefully away to play with.

They even rifled through luggage strapped to the top of the car, and tried on human clothes for size.

The little terrors admired their own reflections in the mirror, and even tried to pull off the Mercedes badge on the bonnet as a souvenir of their day!

Am I the only one who reads this and wonders, are the inmates in charge of the asylum?

You can see more photos of the madness from The Guardian here.

Close call

Back in the fall we reported the heroic capture of a monkey that had been terrorizing residents of a city in Japan and was believed to be responsible for attacks on over 100 people. The city had set up a team of over 150 volunteers, city staff, police and rescue workers to go after it, but the eventual capture was a result of the quick thinking of some average people:

Municipal government officials said the monkey was spotted on the second-floor balcony of the home of 33-year-old resident Yuki Yoneyama at about 12:30 p.m. on Sunday. His 36-year-old wife opened the window to their children's room, and when the money went inside, Yoneyama shut it from the outside, trapping the animal.

The monkey was given the name Lucky, and she certainly was: rather than being punished, she was given accomodations at the local zoo. And rather than being resented, she became a local favorite, appearing in a TV commercial and having her own Twitter account.

But clearly Lucky doesn't appreciate how lucky she's got it. She was just biding her time, and on Monday, she took advantage of an inattentive zookeeper who left a cage door open and made a break for it.

Officials instructed citizens to assume that Lucky was armed and dangerous and to keep their doors locked, but fortunately, she never made it off the zoo grounds, and was recaptured 24 hours later.

Let's hope that keepers are no longer lulled into a false sense of security by this criminal's popularity, and treat her like the dangerous prisoner she is from this point onward.


Mug shot of the culprit and cartoon from The Japan Times.

I can't do this alone

Sometimes this blog feels so lost and alone, trying to stand up to the tide of bad animal behavior all by itself. Like when I click on Zooborns - yes, of course I read Zooborns, I have to know the enemy, right? - and I see the photo above of a baby L'Hoest's monkey.

Where is Fuck You, Penguin at a time like this? Someone needs to tell this cute monkey what's what. Someone needs to call this monkey out for making those eyes at us, blinding us with adorableless to the truth about our fellow primates. You know, the truth about how they steal, assault, and lie, and, oh, just read ALL the posts here. Read them! Don't believe those baby monkey eyes!

Turning the tables on a bad animal

As we've seen on this blog again and again, some people never learn. Macaques cause havoc wherever they live - just to name a few, we've seen it in South Africa, in Singapore, in Japan, and even in places in India where they are considered gods.

And still, a town in Thailand persists with a traditional yearly festival that provides a huge monkey buffet.

But one organization that's concerned about invasive species has an idea to turn the tables on bad animal behavior.

Accoding to REEF, the Red Lionfish is the first non-native marine fish to successfully invade Atlantic waters. They're thriving in the Caribbean, Gulf of Mexico, and the East Coast of the United States, where they reproduce year-round, and have no predators.

But REEF says there's a simple solution to the latter problem:

"It's absolutely good eating -- a delicacy. It's delicately flavored white meat, very buttery," Lad Akins, director of special projects for Reef Environmental Education Foundation (REEF), told Reuters.

The lionfish has got nasty, venomous spines, but once they're removed (or cooked, if you like to live on the edge), it's perfectly safe to eat.

And if you're not sure of the best way to prepare it, REEF is not going let you get away with that excuse: they've just released The Lionfish Cookbook. Do your part by buying your copy here.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Monkey madness news roundup

-President Obama is scheduled to visit India next week. Whereever a world leader goes there are security issues, but in India, humans are not the only primate that are a potential problem. The Telegraph reports:

Delhi's police are to build 30-feet towers in jungle surrounding President Obama's hotel to protect him from terrorist attacks during next week's visit, and also shield from an invasion by the city's most persistent threat – monkeys.

They have been asked to erect 'machan' towers for elite commandos who will use powerful searchlights and night-sight binoculars to lookout for suspicious movement and any signs of a simian invasion.

Alongside heavily armed antiterrorist commandos, trained monkey-catchers will also be deployed.

- There's no mention of another monkey control method sometimes used in India, and perhaps for good reason. At the Commonwealth Games earlier this fall, a squad of trained anti-monkey monkeys was deployed. But apparently hiring standards are not rigorous enough to screen out thugs who abuse their power: One tried to steal a BBC reporter's phone, sending him to the hospital for treatment of a wound and rabies and tetanus shots. And they're no more reliable with the locals: recently in one neighborhood, the langur monkey brought in to protect people from monkey attacks didn't exactly solve the problem when it bit one of the residents.

-Elsewhere, a repeat offender is caught in Croatia:

This Macaque ape made a monkey of zoo security when he was caught slipping out of his cage to raid local gardens for tasty snacks.

Keen veg grower Zdenek Lounovi, 70, could barely believe his eyes when he looked down his back lawn and saw the beast munching on his rhubarb and turnips.

...Keepers at nearby Olomouc Zoo admitted the ape was theirs and set up a hidden camera in his enclosure to check how he had been getting out.

"He was pretty sneaky. He'd pulled part of his fence away and covered the hole with a board so he could come and go as he pleased."

- And finally, the photo above was taken by a tourist as he was being insulted by a mandrill called Jackson at the San Francisco Zoo. Zoo authorities explained that the monkey did not mean to be rude, that the gesture was merely the result of "a form of arthritis."

Yeah, sure.

Heroic humans

The animals in our last post may be terrible role models, but recently some average people have showed us what it means to take a stand against bad animals, bravely leaping into action with nothing but their normal household surroundings to depend on.

In Japan, a couple of citizens took the monkey attack situation into their own hands, and caught the culprit that is believed to have bitten over 100 people.

Municipal government officials said the monkey was spotted on the second-floor balcony of the home of 33-year-old resident Yuki Yoneyama at about 12:30 p.m. on Sunday. His 36-year-old wife opened the window to their children's room, and when the money went inside, Yoneyama shut it from the outside, trapping the animal.

The monkey scampered into a closet, but municipal government workers and police who arrived at the home used a tear-inducing spray to drive it out, and captured it with a net at about 1:30 p.m.

And in Montana, a woman tried to defend her elderly dog from a bear by kicking it. That didn't work, and it next tried to break into her house, but fortunately, she had a weapon to hand:

"She kicked the bear with her left leg as hard as she could, and she said she felt like she caught it pretty solidly under the chin," Maricelli said.

But as she kicked, the bruin swiped at her leg with its paw and ripped her jeans.

The bear then turned its full attention to the woman in the doorway. She retreated into the house and tried to close the door, but the bear stuck its head and part of a shoulder through the doorway.

The woman held onto the door with her right hand. With her left, she reached behind and grabbed a 14-inch zucchini that she had picked from her garden earlier and was sitting on the kitchen counter, Maricelli said.

She threw the vegetable. It bopped the bruin on the top of its head and the animal fled, Maricelli said.

Authorities are looking for the bear; reports say they'll use DNA from the zucchini to confirm its identity.

Banned Thoughts about Bad Behavior

In honor of Banned Books Week, today we consider a book about animals that could never be published today.

Sadly, this book would probably never get to the point of being banned. It would never get written, due to the self-censorship or self-delusion practiced by most writers about animals nowadays.

Who's Who in the Zoo: A Natural History of Mammals was produced by the WPA Federal Writers' Project in New York and published in 1942.

The writers were unconstrained by modern notions of political correctness. Happily informing us which animals are used for their fur, desired by big-game hunters for trophies, and good to eat, this book also advises that all sorts of wildlife make suitable pets, including marmosets, coatis, skunks and raccoons.

The authors also have no qualms about insulting animals where it's called for and revealing unpleasant truths about animal behavior. Here are just a few instructive excerpts:

Other species of South American monkeys are less surly in captivity than the Howler.

When a Marmoset is mischievous a slap will not cause it to behave, but it quickly obeys when its ears are pinched or bitten.

Domesticated (Indian) elephants are used to capture the wild ones. Two tame elephants will squeeze a wild one between them, holding until their masters have bound its legs with chains.

The Babirusa is one of the ugliest of the wild swine.

The Guanaco is so stupid that the native Patagonian Indians are able to surround the herds and club many of their members to death.

The mother (Tiger) rarely deserts the young in infancy, unless hard pressed. But she has been known to eat her kittens when food was scarce.

The Camel is known to have served man for the last 5000 years, but despite long domestication it has a very ugly disposition and is not attached to its master.

One also has to admire their skill at getting in a dig at large groups of animals while weakly complimenting one of them, as exemplified by this remark about the capybara:

Largest of all living rodents, the Capybaras are the least obnoxious

It's sad that so few of us are carrying on this noble tradition of honesty and devotion to the truth. This blog, at least, promises to continue to uphold it.


Babirusa by Flickr user cactusbeetroot.

Take action against monkey madness

We're glad to report that the Japanese citizens being terrorized by monkeys, as reported in our last post, are not taking this situation lying down. Not only are there teams of officials, police, and volunteers on the hunt, but one town has decided to offer a $2,400 reward for a single macaque that's broken into houses and attacked 43 people.

And elsewhere, our old friend the Tampa Bay Mystery Monkey has finally revealed a weakness: vanity. He's been spotted more than once visiting a mirrored garden ornament (photo above) where he gazes at his own reflection.

Could this be his downfall? Surely some qualified monkey-catcher is going to step up and stake out this backyard? We await further news.

More monkey mayhem

Last week we saw evidence of an increasing trend toward troublemaking alligators, but novelty shouldn't lead us to neglect the activities of our most reliable, traditional culprits: monkeys.

Gangs of rampaging monkeys have been attacking people in Japan, in two towns near Mount Fuji. More than 60 people have been victims, and the motive?

Animal experts believe the monkeys may be biting and scratching people for fun, predicting the attacks should stop once they become bored.

In India, a monkey is stealing eyeglasses from an office, making off with five pairs of spectacles so far.

Fortunately, experts are giving the victims good advice, for a change:

"If we start offering them some reward to get the items back, then they start looking for such opportunities. They should be scared not rewarded."

Finally, our old friends the drunk baboons of South Africa have been invading homes and interfering with civilized existence:

"Lunch parties in the garden are now just impossible," a homeowner complained. "It is so unrelaxing. Rather than chatting over our meal, we are looking over our shoulders and bolting the food as quickly as we can before it is stolen. We can't even leave a window open in summer."

Truly, what is this world coming to?


Thanks for the spectacle-stealing-simian tip and photo to Monkey Day, for all your monkey news needs.

I am not alone

There is nothing I could add that would surpass the heading on this story at the Christian Science Monitor:

Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey-annoyance experts

Japanese macaques will completely flip out when presented with flying squirrels, a new study in monkey-antagonism has found. The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys.

Sometimes it's so lonely at this blog. It's good to know that there are both scientists and journalists out there who are on our side when it comes to keeping animals in their place.



Photo of Nutzy, mascot of the Richmond Flying Squirrels, by Flickr user John Murden.