Animal Attack Roundup

A couple of people who got what was coming to them, and one totally innocent victim:

-Montreal teen mauled after trying to kiss captive lion in South Africa

Canadian volunteers in Africa, please take note: don’t try to kiss the lions.
A young Montreal woman is in a South African hospital after she was clawed and bitten by two lions on Monday at a wildlife rehabilitation centre.

Lauren Fagen, 18, says she was kissing the fur of a male lion named Duma when he reached through the bars and dragged her legs into his cage. The lion’s female mate also joined the attack, biting her feet.

Ms Fagen was volunteering to help care for the animals, and while the center's director correctly attributes the incident largely to her own stupidity, perhaps he needs to reconsider his volunteer-hiring practices, because she gave ample warning that she was an accident waiting to happen:

“She came here telling people that she wanted to hug an animal.”

-And here's one that's an accident waiting to happen again: A surfer in Sydney, Australia was hospitalized after being knocked off his board by a humpback whale. He lost conciousness (in the water!) and had to be rescued by fellow surfers, treated by paramedics and taken by ambulance to the hospital. And yet:

Despite his injuries, Dr Rajapakse said his encounter with the whale was a “very beautiful experience”.

-Finally, our one totally innocent victim: A man in England was attacked by a fox while he was on the toilet.

The startled 49-year-old leapt up from the bog with his trousers around his ankles before pursuing the creature around the living room in a farcical fox chase.

Mr Schofield, who lives in Ringstead Road, said: "I didn’t even have time to wipe myself. I just had to chase after it. It was so quick. The fox had pushed its nose through the door. I jumped off the toilet. In the meantime it had run into the front room and got the cat.

"It had the cat round the neck. She was in shock, bleeding from her face. It locked itself onto my arm but still had the cat as well. It was unbelievable - the strength in the little thing. There was blood everywhere. It was like a struggle for my life."

If you don't believe how serious it was, note this: He didn't even have time to stop and take a picture with his phone, and they had to make the photoshopped illustration above.