World Turtle Day is Not Safe for Work

Last week, I knew that World Turtle Day was on the way, but I wasn't sure if there was a way to mark the occasion on this blog. There just isn't that much news about turtles and tortoises behaving badly.

Then on Friday I want to my volunteer gig at the zoo and was asked to clean the Aldabra tortoise exhibit, and I thought, how could I have forgotten? Not only is this a disgusting job, it was accompanied by a disgusting spectacle, with a disgusting soundtrack of loud moans and groans. In fact at one point both of the huge males attempted to mate with the smaller female at the same time.

Unfortunately I didn't have a camera with me, but you can always count on the internet for pictures of sex, right? So enjoy - if that's the word - these pictures of tortoises behaving badly by Flickr users derpunk, schristia, and David Berkowitz.




And if that's not enough, did you doubt that there'd also be video? Particularly unsafe for work with the sound on. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Not safe for work (especially if your co-workers are cold-blooded)

If you've ever spent even a moment observing tortoises at the zoo, you probably noticed that they seem to have nothing on their minds but sex. It's particularly conspicuous with the very large species - and not just visually, but also because they call attention to themselves by moaning and groaning at quite a volume.

Smaller tortoises are just as bad if less noticeable, though, and apparently some of them have unnatural inclinations, as you can see in this YouTube video of a tortoise's encounter with a shoe.

I thought about trying to embed this video but... I couldn't do it. I just felt too dirty. In any case, then you wouldn't see the many similarly disgusting entries that YouTube helpfully suggests under 'Related Videos.' Just don't say I didn't warn you.

And don't be fooled by the thoughtful expression on the face of the tortoise in that photo by Flickr user Misterqueue.