Two bad birds

In England, even experts are forced to admit a bird is out of hand, although in a rather low-key way:

A "terrorist" pheasant has been attacking vehicles and chasing cats and dogs at a Cambridgeshire farm.

Anne-Marie Hamilton said the male bird, which she described as "a complete lunatic", arrived at Wood Farm in Hail Weston three weeks ago.

A delivery driver was trapped for 20 minutes after the bird blocked his way, flew at the bonnet then chased his van.

When it is not busy seeing off her dogs, cats and visitors' vehicles, the pheasant has taken up residence outside her patio doors.

"We keep a big stick there so we can get in and out," she said.

The British Trust for Ornithology said the pheasant was protecting his territory but was "a little extreme".

But in America, one officer showed how it's done, even for a minor infraction:

Corpus Christi Police apprehended a chicken after it crossed the road Sunday afternoon at the 1600 block of Agnes Street. Corpus Christi Police Officer David Saldana, known among his peers as the “Chicken Hawk,” saw a chicken cross the road at about 2pm Sunday. Officer Saldana attempted to detain the chicken for crossing outside of a cross walk, but the chicken fled on foot from Officer Saldana. The chicken jumped through the open window to an unoccupied vehicle in an attempt to escape, but there were no keys in the ignition of the vehicle. Officer Saldana successfully captured the chicken and placed the chicken in his patrol car. Officer Saldana then transported the chicken to Animal Care Services. The chicken was identified as a Black Australorp. Case closed.