Sheep posing public danger!

Things have been a bit dreary around the Animals Behaving Badly headquarters lately, but I can't help being perked up by a headline like this one:

Sheep posing public danger in Forest of Dean

You might find it implausible that these placid, wooly, not-so-bright creatures could be a danger to health, safety and the public peace, but you would be wrong:

Residents in Bream, Yorkley and Parkend are so fed up of flocks in their streets that a letter on the baaa-d behaviour is being sent to MP Mark Harper.

The problems stem from flocks of up to 50 sheep wandering the streets, fouling on pavements and bleating at night.

"Children walking to school have to walk in the road because the pavements are such a mess," Mr Kent said. "Elderly people who are not so agile are using the pavements and treading the stuff into their homes. The sheep bleat at night which keeps people awake, it's distressing a lot of people."

Surely a civilized society should not have to endure the indignities of pooping on the pavement and bleating at night. But why is this not a simple problem to solve? Why aren't they fenced in like any normal livestock?

One official blames the complexity of local government. "The problem is there's half-a-dozen layers of bureacracy. No-one will take a lead on it and do anything," he says. But any reader of this blog will recognize a familiar problem here: The reluctance of people to stand up to bad animals:

"What we are not challenging, in any way, is the right for sheep to roam free, it's an ancient tradition. But they should be roaming in the Forest, not in the villages."

A right to roam free? People: this is what happens when you give someone rights without responsibilities, no matter their species. These animals need to hold up their end of the bargain. Let these sheep start obeying the pooper-scooper laws and then we'll talk about their rights.


Ominous sheep by Flickr user eek the cat and thanks for the tip to loyal fan Jennah Ferrara.

Bad animals down on the farm

Adding to last week's sheep on a roof, it's an epidemic of farm animal misbehavior:

-In England, a lamb interferes with the economy by lying down on the tracks of a steam train that's been successful at attracting tourists to the area. The conductors interrupted their journey with an emergency stop to rescue the "tired and dishevelled looking animal."

-Male pigs are proven by science to be, well, pigs: They're more attracted to sows who've got artificial breast implants.

-Rodents don't only pick on someone their own size down under: In South Australia a plague of mice were trying to eat a farmer's pigs alive. He's resorted to coating the swine in engine oil to make them taste bad.

-Finally, in Ireland, a farmer kept locking his cows inside each night only to find them wandering the next morning. Assuming cattle thieves were responsible, he set up a video camera, only to discover that the cows themselves were to blame: One, called Daisy, had figured out how to unlatch the gate. Watch the video proof:


Photo of the cow co-conspirators on the run from Sky News.

Recurring bad animal briefs

Animals continue to prove that nothing reported on this blog is an isolated incident:

- In our last post we saw crows attacking a police station in Washington State; is it really more than coincidence that bald eagles are doing the same at a post office in Alaska? Because eagles are a protected species, Reuters reports:

There is not much that residents can do about overly bold bald eagles other than to post warning signs, take steps to avoid the fierce birds and wear hats.

- Despite that report on the high cost to British taxpayers of rescuing animals that have gotten themselves into ridiculous positions, a Welsh fire brigade responded to a call to get a sheep down off a roof. A "spokesman," presumably not one of the people who actually had to risk life and limb, downplayed the seriousness of the situation:

"It was certainly an interesting call-out, it's not where you'd expect to find a sheep, really quite funny. It brightened up our weekend, that's for sure."

- And finally, for those of you who are still tempted to rationalize all this bad animal behavior, from another story on Dusty the cat burglar of San Mateo:

"We always try to find meaning in what animals do. But maybe he just does this because it's fun."

Baaaad behavior

I could post today about the escaped monkey that trapped a woman in her garage in San Antonio, but I wouldn't want readers to get the idea that monkeys and dogs are all we have to worry about. For example, you don't want to let your guard down around sheep. You may think they're cute and wooly, but ask the couple in England who came home after a ram crashed through their home's glass patio door:

The ram was unharmed but left a trial of destruction in its wake. Paula Smith and her husband Ed thought their home had been raided by burglars when they returned from a walk.

Mr Smith was reporting the break-in to the police when Paula's uncle phoned to explain.

Mrs Smith, who runs a livery, said: "We saw all the glass and all the mess and we were very scared.

"For about 15 minutes I was racking my brain wondering if I'd upset anyone for them to do this, while my husband was on the phone to the police reporting it.

"As he was doing that, my mobile rang and it was my uncle saying the farmer was trying to get in touch."

It's estimated that the damage will cost thousands of pounds to repair. Mrs Smith goes on to describe the details:

"The whole house stank because of the muck it left behind and I've had to throw out the rug in the living room.

"The carpets have to be replaced, because we can't get the stains out, half of the range cooker we can't use because the door's wrecked and the hob doesn't work. The patio door can't be replaced for another month.

"We've had to board it up but because it's been raining. It's damp and that smells now too.

"It's going to be a big job to sort out because the walls will need replastering because of the way the door was damaged."

And don't think this is an isolated incident:

Tim Price, of NFU Mutual, which is handling the insurance claim over the incident on August 29, said: "At this time of year, when sheep are coming into season, it is quite common for rams to see their reflection in something shiny, think it's a competitor, then attack it.

"Cars are more often affected if they are parked by fields or in moorland. Rams will see their reflection in a mirror or a hub cab and start fighting and owners will come back to a lot of dents."

Sure sounds like he is awfully familiar with the extent of the sheep-rampage problem, and who would know better than an insurance agent?


Frighteningly close sheep by Flickr user Brenda Anderson.

Marsupial drug fiends

And if that isn't bad enough... they play hoaxes on innocent believers in the supernatural, AND persuade innocent livestock to follow their lead.

BBC - Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "as high as a kite", a government official has said.

Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine...

"We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Lara Giddings told the hearing.

"Then they crash," she added. "We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."

Rick Rockliff, a spokesman for poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids, said the wallaby incursions were not very common, but other animals had also been spotted in the poppy fields acting unusually.

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," he added.

Kangaroo on drugs by Flickr user mrmanc