Baaaad animals

You probably think of sheep as innocent and wooly and maybe not really smart enough to make real trouble. If so, you don't read this blog carefully enough. We've seen sheep desecrating a graveyard and rampaging through a home. A couple years ago we even saw what was basically a gang of wandering sheep hooligans - reportedly "fouling on pavements and bleating at night" - and now we've got another one.

These incidents all happened in England, where they either can't or don't want to keep their sheep under control, no matter the risk even to innocent children. In a town in Lancashire County, students at one primary school can't even go outside to play anymore, says the headmaster:

Children at Balladen Primary School are being kept indoors because of sheep invading the grounds.

He said: “I don’t think there’s been a day for some time when we haven’t seen them and the sheep dirt is everywhere. It gets on children’s shoes, it gets into school and we’ve had to stop children playing out because of it.

“We had six sheep one morning and three the day before so they’re becoming a real nuisance. They frighten the children.”

Residents also complain of damage to their gardens, and as in the previously reported case, of various levels of authority saying that the sheep problem is not their responsibility.

These sheep also interfere with traffic, as in the photograph above. The police say they're on it, and the county council claim they'll look into how to keep the sheep off the school grounds, but I don't have a lot of hope for quick action.  That photo was taken almost a year earlier, and since then it's clearly only gotten worse.

Oh, and, get this: the headmaster says there have been stray sheep around for 14 years. Longer than the current pupils have been alive.

Why are Brits so frozen with inaction in the face of these wooly desperados? What is it about sheep that gives them this power? I don't know, but we'll be following these stories closely.

Dog eats car.... for a reason?

In England, a dog has a new home after chewing an impressive chunk out of her owner's fancy car (a £80,000 Aston Martin DB9 Volante, in case that means more to you than it does to me).

Owner Royston Grimstead said:

"I came home and saw her covered in white stuff and I thought she had got a bird and it was feathers - but it was the fibreglass from the car.

She had chewed out a huge chunk. I just laughed. I mean, what else could I do?"

What else he could do was give the dog away, which he did - which seems like a simple case where a bad animal had to face the consequences for a change. But look into the details and the plot thickens.

Luce had never been destructive before, but she didn't get along with Grimstead's other dog. So he's got a theory:

"I advertised to try to rehome her because she does not get on with my other dog.

She must have overheard me because she’s normally friendly and never really chewed on anything before."

 Was this Luce's revenge because he was considering giving her away? Or was she so tired of living with her annoying canine roommate that she decided to push the issue? In any case, insurance paid for the damage, and Luce has moved on to a new family, so this is one case where bad behavior had a happy ending for all.

Bad Cat News Roundup

-In a public library in New Mexico, motion-sensor alarms were going off night after night, leading to the theory that a homeless person was spending the night there, but hours of searching by the police turned up nothing. Then library staff found some clues: the dirt in potted plants had been dug up, and someone had apparently been marking his territory.

Video surveillance footage confirmed suspicions: the intruder was a cat. The feline was lured into a trap with salmon, and instead of being punished for the waste of public employee time and effort, he's been taken in by a woman on the library staff, who says she's a bit disappointed that it's all over: “We were like real detectives, doing stakeouts and setting traps. It was kind of exciting.”

-They tell you to keep your cat indoors because of it's risky for your pet and bad for the birds. But they never mention what it could bring home that's bad for you. I'll just put this link here for you to read if you're brave enough: I Caught Bubonic Plague From My Cat.

-This one is more Animal Behaving Bad-assly: A cat in California stepped into an illegal bear trap, which snapped shut on its foot. It then went home, dragging the trap all the way.

According to the vet who treated Scruffy free of charge, animals rarely survive being caught by these traps, and it's no wonder: "This one was big enough where, if a person stepped in it, it would have broken your ankle."  And while the feline might lose the leg, apparently he is not otherwise scarred by the experience: "He's bright, alert, happy, purring, and doing all the kitty things that he should be doing."

-Saving the biggest for last: A family in Chile were said to be surprised - uh, no kidding - when mom was making breakfast one morning and suddenly realized there was a puma in their kitchen. They quickly closed the door and called the police, who said that the puma (pictured above) was docile - although they still sedated it before capturing it, which took several tries because it kept removing the darts.

Since its behavior with humans suggests made them think it's probably someone's pet, police are now trying to find the owners. Once they get a lead, it'll probably be easy to prove if they're right - they'll be the ones whose house is torn apart like this family's kitchen was - check out the photos and video.

Animals Getting People Into Trouble

-Parrots are the only animals that can speak our language, but if you think this makes them count as human, you might not get too far. A woman in England found this out when the police discovered that she was driving on a learner's license with only a parrot as company. Holders of a learner's provisional license are only allowed to drive under the supervision of a qualified driver, so, as the police said on Twitter:

Since parrots are not authorised to supervise learner drivers, her vehicle has been seized by us on the M62.

-This blog has made the point over and over again that cute animals are a bad influence. We've seen that they distract scientists from studying less attractive animals and convince people to do all sorts of ridiculous things to help them. But research has found that looking at photos of cute animals makes people aggressive. And here's one that actually incited someone to violence:

Fight breaks out in queue to pat koalas

A wildlife park visitor has been accused of assaulting another man and threatening him with a knife after complaining that it was his turn to pat the koalas.

Police on Tuesday said a 34-year-old Para Hills man had been charged with aggravated assault and two counts of assault at the Adelaide Hills park on Saturday.

The visitors were waiting to pat the koalas when the 34-year-old man allegedly became aggressive and assaulted the victim.

"Two bystanders tried to intervene and were also assaulted, as was a staff member at the wildlife park," police said.
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The man also allegedly threatened the victim with a knife, police said.

Exploding cow farts start fire

There's nothing I need to add to this story from The Independent:

Ninety flatulent cows start fire at dairy farm in Germany

The methane gas released by 90 flatulent cows caused an explosion in a farm shed in Germany, damaging the roof and injuring one of the animals, local police said.

In a statement, the force said high levels of the methane gas had built up within the structure in the central German town of Rasdorf on Monday thanks to animals belches and flatulence, before “a static electric charge caused the gas to explode with flashes of flames."

The subsequent blast damaged the roof of the cow shed, Reuters reported. Emergency services who attended the scene took gas readings to check for any potential further blasts.

One of the cows was injured and had to be treated for burns it sustained during the incident, a police spokesman added.

The animals can emit up to 500 litres of the greenhouse gas methane each day through belching and flatulence. Cows also release large amounts of ammonia. 

The dangerous ends, by Flickr user Andrew Storms.

Bad monkey relationships

It's not often that a respectable mainstream media source does my job for me so throughly, but all we need for this story is some direct quotes from this BBC article:

Female capuchin monkeys throw stones to attract mates

The primates whine, pull faces and follow potential mates around in scenes reminiscent of the school playground.

Although their common name refers to their hairstyles, the monkeys' passionate side is hinted at in their scientific name Sapajus libidinosus.

Without brightly coloured, swollen genitals or strong smelling odours or liquids to communicate, the capuchins display they are ready to mate through their behaviour.

The females solicit attention from males with pronounced pouting faces, whining calls or by touching them and dashing away.

This behaviour builds as the females pursue their mates and in the Serra da Capivara capuchins, it leads to females throwing stones directly at the subjects of their desire.

Lurking capuchin by Flickr user Cardiff boy 2

Something new to worry about

Here's a new way to be injured by an animal that even I have never heard or conceived of: A woman in Brazil was walking her dog when a porcupine fell on her head, with the results pictured above.

Porcupines are not known as aerial predators, but this one apparently fell - or leapt - from a lamppost. As the victim related:

I was walking with my dog when out of nowhere, I felt a thud in my head. I looked down, I saw a critter. I put my hand on my head and felt the thorns. The pain was enormous.

 At the hospital, the staff were reportedly "impressed" by her injuries, as the doctor removed over 150 spines from the woman's head without anesthesia.

I have nothing to add to this except, what will they think of next??



Photo and story from the Brazilian news via the always excellent Nothing to Do with Arbroath.

Setting a new standard for bad dogs

We've seen dogs set fires and crash cars, but I believe this may be an original: A dog that caused an explosion.

A couple in England came running home when they got a text from a neighbor that there'd been an explosion at their house:

“We thought someone had put something through the letterbox or there had been a gas explosion.”

Matthew added: “When we got inside the house we saw that the explosion had completely smashed out our bay window.

“It had also cracked the fireplace, all the floorboards underneath the explosion had been destroyed, and the sofa is completely ruined – we have had to buy a new one."

“All I could think about was our pets – thankfully they were okay.”

Initially it was thought to be a gas leak, but when investigation revealed no leak, another explanation came to light: Their dog Zeus had found an aerosol can that happened to be near the home's boiler and chewed a hole in it:

“It is just one of those awful coincidences I suppose – moments after Zeus chewed through the can, the back boiler must have ignited.

“Poor old Zeus is lucky he didn’t chew that can a few minutes later or he’d probably be dead now.”

 Despite all the "poor Zeus" and talk of gratitude that the three dogs were OK, the second paragraph of the article in the local news suggests that poor Zeus was not exactly forgiven:

Six-month-old saluki greyhound cross Zeus, who has since been sold,

More artistic bad dog with broken window by Flickr user Nick Kidd

Cat Burglars Forever

Sometimes I think we don't need to hear about another cat - especially another English cat - who steals odd things from the neighbors. But this one is unique: it's a team.

Eric and Ernie are two cat brothers in Essex, England, who have been a criminal duo since being adopted as kittens about four years ago. They've brought home about a hundred items and specialize in apparel. They particularly like shoes, says their owner:

"They will bring one home one day, and the next day the matching shoe will arrive," she said.

"Somewhere there is a man watching television with cold feet because we have both of his slippers, which say, 'Keep quiet, I'm watching football', on the front."

They were also thwarted in one big attempt:

“Our neighbour has two sons and her husband saw a Cub Scout uniform being dragged over the fence, but managed to retrieve it."

Their owner has tried to get them to turn their skills to something more valuable, but to no avail:

Mrs Boddy said she had shown both cats £5 and £10 notes in the hope they might bring home "something other than a mangled item of clothing."

If you still haven't had enough cat burglars, check out this roundup from the BBC that includes one with his own Facebook and Twitter.

New frontiers in bad beagle behavior

Late post this week but worth waiting for if you have not seen this video that has been going around, in which - I am not making this up - Lucy the beagle pushes a chair over to a counter so she can climb up, open the toaster oven, and steal chicken nuggets. I guess the owner can at least be happy that this dog can't get the chicken nuggets out of the freezer and take them out of the box and put them in the oven. YET.

Weather or bears? Your choice

In much of the country we're looking at weather that's making us consider moving to Florida. Before you from make any rash decisions, you may want to check out these two stories about the bear situation there:

-In one neighborhood in Seminole County, residents say the bears are taking over:

Some residents of Heathrow say the bears have been sitting in driveways and on front door steps, and the people say they feel trapped in their homes.  They come in through the woods and hang out right outside near the houses.

Over the past few months, residents said the bears have become increasingly aggressive.
"Frequently people are attempting to come into or out of their houses and they get growled at by the bear, who's not backing off or leaving," said resident Eddie Selover.

As is often the case, authorities are no help at all, making the excuse that there's no place to move them to and they'd probably come back anyway.

"Rather than have someone actually saying that they're going to take some action or do something about it, they send you a bear magnet with tips on how to live with the bears," Selover said, "I don't want to live with bears."

And elsewhere, a persistent bear isn't stopping at hanging out on the front steps. It's broken into a man's screened porch twice in the same week.  After the first break-in, Tramaine Gaines wisely removed everything from the porch that might attract an animal, including some cooking oil. As you can see from the video above, it didn't help:

"This time there was no food, no food outside, I pulled everything in," said Gaines. "I thought it might be a different bear, and I was like, 'No way another bear would know exactly where to come back to and that the screen was already broken.'"

He's hoping to be able to put up some kind of barrier that will keep the bear out, because as he sensibly comments:

"The first time was really funny. This time I'm a little more concerned."

Know your Enemy

To start the new year, here's an inspiring story of people standing up to bad animals:

BBC - Four villagers in north-east Kenya have chased down and captured two cheetahs which were killing their goats.

The owner of the goats told the BBC that the cheetahs had been picking off his animals one by one, day by day.

"These cheetahs killed 15 of my goats - they were coming to my house daily to kill my goats," he said.

 But wait, you might say: Cheetahs are the fastest animals on earth. They chased them down on foot??

Yes, because these people know their bad animals. Cheetahs are sprinters, not marathoners, and the angry goat-owner had observed their habits: in the heat of the day, they spend all their time lazing in the shade. And just as important, even though he'd finally been pushed to his limit, he didn't just strike out in the heat of passion:

 "I was sipping a cup of tea when I saw them killing another goat," he said, explaining that this was early in the morning.

The men waited until the hottest part of the day before launching the chase over a distance of four miles (6.4km).

The cheetahs got so tired they could not run any more. The villagers captured them alive and handed them over to the Kenya Wildlife Service.

Let's all resolve to remember this in the new year: If you know your enemy's weaknesses and make a careful plan, you can even outrun a cheetah.

Dolphins do drugs

If you read this blog, you already know the truth about dolphins: they like to kill babies (of their own species and others), commit sexual assault (on their own species and as in the video above, ours), and don't always push drowning swimmers towards shore.

What's left? You won't be surprised to learn that they've figured out how to abuse drugs. On a BBC program set to air in Britain later this week, they're shown getting high on puffer fish, which contain a toxin that gets them high:

"This was a case of young dolphins purposefully experimenting with something we know to be intoxicating," said Rob Pilley, a zoologist who worked as a producer on the series. 

"After chewing the puffer and gently passing it round, they began acting most peculiarly, hanging around with their noses at the surface as if fascinated by their own reflection."

Mr Pilley said that the dolphins treated the puffer fish differently to their regular prey, which they usually rip apart.

And like any experienced drug user, dolphins appear to know their product.

"The dolphins were specifically going for the puffers and deliberately handling them with care. Dolphins seem to be experts on how to prepare puffers and how to handle them."

Animals on Santa's "Naughty" List

A couple of animals that got into holiday trouble:

-In Alberta, Canada, an elk got tangled in Christmas lights and needed to be rescued:

The bull elk was spotted wandering near the Alberta mountain town with lights and candy cane ornaments strung up in his antlers. 

Parks Canada, which responded to a resident's call, tranquillized the elk to get him untangled. About 4½​ metres of lights were trailing behind him. 

"We thought that it could get wrapped up in its legs and cause some injury and/or get wrapped up in a bush," said resource management officer Blair Fyten.

Their calm reaction is due to the fact that this is actually nothing new:

"Every couple of years we'll get an animal that's got Christmas lights on him and sometimes they're able to shed the lights themselves, and sometimes they're wrapped up so tight that we have to intervene."

This year, at least two animals have been trapped in Christmas lights, he said.

And in Australia, one croc is already on the list for only getting coal next year after being greedy when Santa visited Crocosaurus Cove in Darwin:

Saint Nick took a dip in the Cage of Death to cool off and say hello to 5.5m-long croc Chopper.

"The water was really refreshing - I'm not used to all this heat and humidity," the North Pole dweller said.

But when Santa dropped in on another inmate named Burt, the 700kg monster made like the Grinch and stole the big man's sack.

The staff at Croc Cove leapt into action to save Christmas and to ensure Burt - who is a sizeable specimen at 5.1m - didn't end up with a bellyache.

They failed to tempt the seasoned reptilian negotiator away from his stolen booty until handlers upped the ante with a whole chicken. He dropped the sack and ate the chook- feathers and all.

Santa said the 80-year-old croc would be blacklisted for many a Christmas to come.
"Most of the crocs will get some nice big bits of special Territory ham (wild boar) but old Burt will only find coal in his stocking when I come back on Christmas Eve," he said.

Local Heroine in the War Against Bad Animals

We've seen it time and time again on this blog: people are left at the mercy of bad animals by the very agencies and authorities that ought to be in charge of helping them. But to be slightly cheerful for the holiday season, here's a sort of encouraging story of an unconventional success.

In one part of India that's plagued by elephants, state officials proclaimed themselves helpless in the face of a herd that entered the city of Rourkela back in July. They corralled the beasts into a football stadium but then had no idea how to get them back to the forest.

Who did they turn to? A 14-year-old girl, named Nirmala Toppo.

The BBC explains her methods:

Nirmala says she talks to the herd in her local tribal dialect - Mundaari - and persuades the animals to "return to where they belong".

"First I pray and then talk to the herd. They understand what I say. I tell them this is not your home. You should return where you belong," says Nirmala who is a Roman Catholic.

Her mother, she says, was killed by wild elephants and that was when she decided to learn the technique to drive them away.

In her work, she is assisted by her father and a group of boys from her village.
"We surround the herd. Then I go near them and pray and talk to them."

Some city folk are skeptical of her abilities, but locals say that people who live among elephants have to know how to cope with their bad behavior.

Niel Justin Beck, a member of the district council in Jharkhand's Simdega area, where Nirmala comes from, says due to their co-existence with the wild animals, the tribal people know how to deal with them.

"In Jharkhand, we call Nirmala a lady Tarzan. Whenever marauding elephants enter a village or destroys crops, the local forest department officials never turn up.

"It is then that the villagers approach Nirmala for help. And she is able to successfully drive away the herd after talking to them."

This is not an entirely heartwarming tale - after all, this is an animal that's been the cause of 800 human deaths in the state in the past decade, and the goverment has to rely on a child to solve the problem? But at least they knew who to ask - and they paid her, too - so we're going to chalk this one up as a success.


Good advice photographed by Flickr user brett burton.